October 2, 2008


This is a lifestyle that demands maturity. There is no place for those who approach it from an immature perspective. If people cannot handle being adult about our way of life, then it is best for that person to move on. It is my experience that people who fail to be able to do this end up hurting themselves and others.

I wrote previously about many having "the need to be right". This is an immature approach that stems from low self esteem. We see this evidenced when any of their ideas are challenged. The situation is worsened when you look online. Many are braver when they have the anonymity of the Internet to hide behind. Cyber courage is commonplace with these people. They rant and rave through the keyboard calling others all kinds of names. Ironically, these cyber bullies cower when confronted with a situation in real life. This is my experience anyway.

There is also the subject of jealousy. This is another sign that reflects a degree of immaturity. Many feel threatened when their One is with another. If this is something that you experience, I would say the traditional world is more to your likening. Quite a few who are in this way of life are poly in some form or another. One might take on multiple partners during a scene. Also, He or She might have the sub be with multiple people (if that is an area they agreed to venture into). Basically, group sex is commonplace and those who see green are going to have difficulties.

The final area of immaturity is in dealing with others. There is a lot of "she said, she said" (I refer to it is the feminine since it is women who I see to engage in this more than the men). People are too easy to get their panties in a ruffle; if we wore any. Many feel the need to take digs at others to prove their worth to their Dom. In fact, I witnessed situations where subs tried to one-up each other by proclaiming who had the better Dom/Master. This certainly reminded Me of the schoolyard where the child says "my daddy is better than your daddy". Again, this was a situation that occurred online.

The decision to enter into this way of life takes a strong ability. There are many out there who are jaded and angry over events of the past. If you are one who hates men because of your past relationships, as an example, then BDSM is not going to solve your issues. You need to work those out before trying to find a Dom/Master. The bottom line is that many need a good dose of growing up. Stop blaming everyone else for the issues that you have.

As a writer I am often criticized for the words that I set down. Many seem to feel the need to express their opinion if they do not like something. Of course, that is their right and I welcome it. However, I also have the ability to ignore the insults that arise occasionally. Some just cannot help but to be mean. Naturally, these typically are the ones who are miserable in their own lives. To Me, these people are not worth the time to respond. This is what I believe the mature approach is.

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