October 8, 2008


Many seek out the services of professionals to fulfill their BDSM fantasies. For many, this can be a wonderful way to approach the lifestyle. It is a route that one can choose which offers a greater chance of being with someone knowledgeable, thus decreasing the likelihood of getting hurt. Professionals offer a service that many cannot find anywhere else.

We have all seen the episodes on television where a high power male hires a Dominatrix to work on him. This is a common impression that the mainstream likes to portray. However, there are many different variations on this theme. There is an equal chance the professional is a male. Also, women are as likely, if not more, to enlist the services of a professional as her male counterparts.

The use of a professional creates an environment where the scene is high structured. All components of the scene will be determined ahead of time. The use of safe words is always present with a professional. I have yet to meet one who did not insist on them. Also, they are usually very specific with what they will do. There are certain areas of play which they will not engage in and He or She will mention them.

Do not call a professional for sex. These people are not escorts or prostitutes. They perform a service that is legal. However, crossing the line into sexual activity while being paid puts each in legal peril. In fact, penetration with anything is considered sex-for-pay and off limits. Anyone who offers that as part of the service needs to be avoided, in my opinion. I would believe that person is laying a trap of some kind. It might simply be ignorance but that is not something that I would want to risk.

This is a business arrangement. Remember that when "negotiating" with this person. Each side is worthy of certain respect while adhering to a certain protocol. Just because you are seeking this person's services does not mean that you are agreeing to submit unconditionally. As mentioned, there are boundaries established which each side adheres to. The treatment that you receive will reflect your status as a customer.

A final word: the use of a professional is for the purpose of pleasure only. The hiring of this person does not make you a slave. A BDSM fantasy is being lived out by people who are partaking in certain roles. The submission is only for the scene itself and not part of a larger context. The term "slave" is not valid other than to enhance the moment of the scene. A true slave carries a completely different meaning. If you encounter someone who immediately pushes you into "slave" mode, pack up your stuff. There is a good possibility this person is not really a pro.

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