October 9, 2008

Real Versus Role Play

How much in the BDSM world is real versus that which is role play? The answer to this question resides in the two people who are involved in the relationship. It is up to them to determine what the boundaries of their relationship are. Like I continue to mention, there is not a "one size, fits all" model to follow. BDSM offers the flexibility to create whatever it is that you desire.

The other day I wrote about the use of professionals. When engaging in this behavior, one is most likely acting out a particular fantasy. Depending on what it is, there can be an assumption of roles during the scene. Many like to create entire scenarios surrounding the scene. This is a wonderful way to explore one's desires.

People who are involved in more committed relationships also can implement role playing into their interactions. Some like to live out the "bad little girl idea","teacher-student", or "pet play". All of these can occur during a casual interaction or within the confines of a deeper relationship. It depends upon what the parties are interested in. That is why I always suggest that people experiment to see what they like. BDSM is a fascinating world open to anyone who wants to try it.

Many seem to feel this is common sense. However, there are lots of new people who seem to ignore common sense when it comes to BDSM. For whatever reason, they act in ways that defy logic. I see too many put themselves in potentially dangerous situations which would never occur if they were pursuing a traditional relationship. It seems they think things are different because this is BDSM. Many of the same interpersonal skills used in other walks of life apply here. The BDSM relationship is still a relationship.

To me, role play is real. Some choose to live this way of life 24/7. That is their privilege. Others elect to only implement BDSM in the bedroom. Another fine way to approach it. Playing Master/slave during a scene has the same effect during that time as being a real slave. The lashes are equally real. Certainly, I am not claiming this person is a slave because of a role assumed. However, this person is engaged in BDSM even if for only a short period of time.

Mindset is a crucial component in all of life. Approaching BDSM with the proper outlook is crucial to having an enjoyable experience. Too many believe there is only one method to this way of life. Some of the experienced people like to degrade the way others choose to live. That is garbage. This is the attitude that turns people away from this lifestyle. BDSM is about living one's life in a manner pleasing to that person. However one chooses to go about it, as long as it is safe, is wonderful. Let the opinions of others be damned.

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