When I think about all the things that are required to be a good master, I get a bit overwhelmed. Certainly, as you can guess, it is difficult to isolate just one or two characteristics which make one a good master. Concepts such as patient, thoroughness, caring, compassionate, and growing are all applicable. However, if I had to pinpoint one idea which is crucial for success as a master, I would point to discipline. The reason I do this is because without discipline, or more specifically self discipline, everything else is destined for failure.
Discipline is essential for all success. This holds true for all aspects of life. Without discipline, one simply will not take the necessary action required to achieve the results desired. We live on a plane, the physical, where action is required. It is said that action is the bridge between the invisible and the visible. Therefore, to achieve anything in life, action, in some form is required.
Unfortunately, we as human beings seem to be wired for the exact opposite. People, especially today, tend to lack the discipline necessary to take action. Instead they become slaves to their emotions. In other words, they want to do things when they "feel like it". Well, that is not how the world works. As adults, we know there are things in life that we simply do not like doing. However, most of us do it realizing that we like the results. Few like to pay bills but we certainly enjoy the fruits of electricity, cable television, and having running water. Failure to pay for these services results in disconnect, a state few enjoy.
The same is true for working out. Few of us like to put ourselves through the pain of exercise. Let us be honest, it is not easy. Some of the professional bodybuilders condition themselves mentally to enjoy the pain which enables them to work out longer and harder. Realistically, few of us are that way. For the rest of the known world, it takes discipline to get ourselves to the gym. Again, it is something that many people do because they like the results. The desire to loss some weight or add muscle outweigh the inertia that is created by not wanting to exert oneself. In other words, people take action in spite of feelings to the contrary. That is what discipline is.
I have not looked up the term in the dictionary so I am going to provide a definition off the top of my head. Basically, discipline is the ability to take the action required at a certain time regardless of the emotional state one is in. As evidenced by the exercise example, one needs to ignore the feelings that scream do not go to the gym and just get his or her butt there. Action is required and it is taken. That is what a discipline person does. No matter what needs to be done, he or she focuses upon it and takes the necessary steps to completion.
So how does this come into play with M/s? Well, as you can imagine, there are many floating around the online world who claim to be masters. However, the question that arises is are they really masters? I know subs are always looking for ways how to distinguish between one who is true and the fakes. One simple method is simply look at the totality of the person to determine how he lives his life. Look at the results he gets on a consistent basis and that will reveal to you whether he is disciplined or not. Remember, if I had to choose one criteria for being a successful master it is this. Hence, the absence of discipline in his life means that he probably does not have what it takes to run his life successfully, let alone yours.
Start by looking at him physically. Now, I will caution, be careful with your conclusions. There are always exceptions and you might not want to miss an opportunity because you overlooked a present condition that might not be there in the future. Look at how he keeps his body. Is he overweight beyond the additional 25 or 30 that many put on as they age? If so, what is the cause. As I said, there can be factors which are responsible for his condition. For example, perhaps he is on an anti-depressant, not uncommon if one went through a traumatic situation, which can make losing weight difficult. Remember, we are seeking how disciplined this individual is. Thus, if there is not a valid reason for him carrying the extra weight, the one conclusion you draw is he is lazy.
Another physical factor to look at is his grooming. Does he take the time for basic grooming practices? Again, we are not seeking someone vain about things but, rather, is disciplined enough to shower, shave, and brush his teeth on a regular basis. Also, how are his clothes. Does he wear clean clothing that is pressed properly or are his clothes a mess? Not everyone can afford expensive outfits but it takes little to keep what you do have clean and pressed. It is a sign of personal pride.
Look at his surroundings. Is his place a mess? Or is he one who is willing to put forth the effort to clean up after himself especially when he is not in a relationship where many of those activities are done for him. Does he know what it takes to maintain a household? If he does, he will be more appreciative of your efforts if that is a role you fulfill in his life. Of course, if he has no clue, he will take it for granted. Is he disciplined enough to take the action required to keep his surroundings clean.
Next look at the finances. This gets to be a touchy subject and one that people are reluctant to reveal. There are a couple reasons for this. To start, our culture is one that hides financial matters. Money is not something many families talk about. It is a taboo subject. It is more readily accepted if you ask someone how many times a month he has sex with his wife than if you ask him how much he makes. Hence, we have a societal conditioning issue. The second reason stems from the fact that most dominants are obtuse asses. They do not feel that a slave has the right to question him. This is absurd especially in the "courting" stage. They do not want to reveal personal information that a slave requires to make a good decision. However, this is something that must be broken through if one is enjoy a successful BDSM relationship.
Before going any further, I must state money is not the end all. How much the dominant makes is a secondary issue as compared to how he lives. One thing to keep in mind is that anyone can encounter financial setbacks so the fact one's finances are in the toilet might not be a signal to walk away. Again, it could be a temporary condition brought about by tragic circumstances. Investigation is warranted. However, since we are looking for discipline, what are his money habits? Is this a person who has nothing even with a high income? If so, this could be a sign of undisciplined spending especially if he has nobody else dependent upon him financially. At the same time, how are his credit card balances? Is he $15,000, $20,000,or even $30,000 in debt? Again, if this is the case, what is the reason? Balances like this, without a tragic situation, means that he spends money recklessly. In other words, he is going to blow through your paycheck/savings also. He lacks the discipline to control himself.
I will stop at this point with the examples. My point is that without discipline, our beloved master is not in control of anything. In fact, his life most likely will be spinning completely out of control. This means that a slave joining this person is not going to find stability but, instead, be thrown into the hurricane that is his life. Chaos tends to be the mainstay and this is never a situation that creates lasting happiness. Undisciplined people are usually in a constant state of upheaval. This does not provide a solid foundation for a slave to find safety and comfort. Also, as mentioned, if he cannot focus his efforts to get the proper results in his life, how will he do it in yours? To me, the answer is he cannot.
If you are dominant, internalize these words. Ask yourself how you are living life? Are you disciplined enough to own another person? Look at your surroundings and figure out the level of discipline you have in your life. Focus attention on doing the things that are required of you. If you need to lose a few pounds, get busy. Look at the debt you carry and begin to take measures to alleviate it. Begin to see yourself in the way a slave would. Do you have the discipline to properly run your life let alone hers?
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8 hours ago