May 12, 2009

Why Do You Want This Lifestyle?

This seems like a reasonable question and one that you would think people could answer. However, as with most things, people seem to have little idea why they want to be involved in this lifestyle. In fact, people rarely know why they do most anything.

Nevertheless, I ask, why do you want this way of life? Is your motivation positive or negative. What I mean by that, are you looking at this lifestyle because of something that rings within you or is it because you are seeking an alternative to what was not working in the traditional world. Bear in mind, I write these words knowing full well what it is like to have failures in regular relationships. My path is wrought with one failed situation after another. Of course, it was out of these failures that led me to where I am today. I can emphatically state that my motivation for being involved in BDSM is positive. This is how I want to live.

The reason I bring this is up is because my experience leads me to conclude that people who choose this life for the wrong reasons also find the same difficulty as before. BDSM is not going to solve any of your life problems. Regardless of how far into this you go, the common element always is you. If you cannot be happy with yourself, nobody else is going to do that for you. This is a simple fact of life.

People seem to "run" to BDSM. In other words, they are running from the traditional lifestyle. This is alright if you know that you are better suited for this way of life. However, running away from the failures of the past will lead to a repeating in the future. If your problem was low self-esteem, this will doom your BDSM relationship. The same is true for drugs, alcohol, or a lack of interpersonal skills. Unless you correct these shortcomings, they will be your undoing in this way of life.

So ask yourself this simple question, why do I want this way of life? Check your motives to ensure they are proactive and positive.

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