Dealing With Vanilla People

There are many who love the extreme aspects of the BDSM lifestyle. However, one must be extremely careful when interacting with someone who is not involved in the BDSM world. What is mild to us might be considered extreme to another.

I have personally be in more than one situation where I made an off handed comment about some of what I am involved in only to get a mouth-open stare from the other party. People who lead a "vanilla" life are often shocked at the behavior we tend to exhibit. While some might be interested in it, others find it a turn off.

For this reason, I suggest caution when interacting with another who is not in the lifestyle. Many friendships were wrecked because of the prejudices which exist. Remember, there are a lot of preconceived notions which are often false. Many think they know what we are into when in fact they simply misled.

I like to "test the water" when dealing with someone new. It is best to start with something simple like spanking. This is the stage which allows you to determine whether to proceed further or pull back. For example, I met one woman who didn't mind a light spanking but was unwilling to go any further. Mentioning deep bondage might have wrecked anything that we had. This was a situation where pulling back was the proper course.

As always, be mindful who you are interacting with when mentioning BDSM.

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