As I surf the Internet, I am always amused with what is written about the BDSM lifestyle. In fact, there is so much misinformation out that I am amazed anyone can find the truth. The saddest part is that much of this information is written by people who claim to be in the lifestyle. From my perspective, they fail to grasp what this is all about.
Today I will focus upon the Master/slave relationship since it takes the power exchange to the extreme. Those who regularly read my blog know that this is not a lifestyle that is suited for everyone. In fact, I believe that it is the minority who were cut out for this way of life.
In my book, An Owned Life, I wrote how the power exchange is the most fundamental aspect of the relationship. It is the exchange of power which separates it from any other type of relationship.
In traditional relationships there is a somewhat equal exchange of power. Both parties are free to voice their opinions, wants, and concerns. Personalities might skew the power to one side or another, but the basic principle is in place.
This is different in the M/s world. Here the power exchange is total. It is a 100%-0% breakdown. All decisions and power is in the hands of the Master. The slave retains no control over any decisions unless so granted by the Master (or Mistress). Every area of one's life is under this fundamental concept.
Failure to adhere to this simple premise changes the dynamic of the relationship. Many people claim to be into M/s when in reality they are just submissive types. They are not slaves. This is evident in how they assert control over their Masters. They dictate what they will and will not do. WRONG!!! In M/s, the only dictating is from the Master.
Anyone who reads about the Gorean lifestyle will understand how the power breakdown is. That is an extreme example of how total and complete it is. Under Gorean, all actions of the slave are with the permission of the Master. She cannot even use the toilet unless so authorized by her Master. That is total power.
The same procedure holds true for sex, eating, friends, and sleeping arrangements. The slave has no choice in the matter. If her Master wants to use her as a sex toy in the middle of the night, she is not at liberty to say no. At the same time, it is also not her place to initiate the interaction unless so authorized by her Master. Her place is to wait until he instructs her what he wants done. This is what M/s is all about.
Some say that I am to rigid in my views. Well, my answer to that is that the lifestyle has not changed since it was first introduced many centuries ago. Slavery is all about the exchange of power. That is it fundamental definition. Failure to have this as a basis means that one is not into M/s but, rather, a D/s relationship. While there is nothing wrong with D/s (one is not better than the other), to call it M/s is misleading. And those involved are not slave but subs.
Be mindful of this when reading the works of others. I do not write this as a means of demeaning those people. Most of them are kind and wonderful. However, when one is writing something that is misleading, I feel the need to try and clarify matters. M/s is an extreme relationship with little flexibility. If you want something more amicable, try D/s.
Click here for your version of An Owned Life.
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1 year ago
1 comments:
great article, having read many posts and blogs from 'slaves' this certainly rings true,
Thank you for vocalizing what many are getting confused about, in M/s it is a Masters needs, wants and desires that should be uppermost in a slaves mind, her own 'life' is secondary almost
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