May 27, 2009

LaLa Land

Many of you know that I like to say "Life still goes on". Yet, as I travel around the 'Net I come across so many "slaves" who believe that entering into a M/s relationship will solve all their problems. Phooey.

The truth of the matter is that M/s (Or D/s) is a relationship. I do not care what the level of interaction is, whenever two people deal with each other, there is a relationship. This is true for boss, employee, among co-workers, and even with your barber (or hairstylist). And, whenever there is a relationship, there are bound to be issues. People bring different experiences, desires, and expectations to the table. This all results in conflict.

Many will easily acknowledge these facts in the traditional world. However, bring BDSM into the equation and it seems all common sense thought goes out the window. For whatever reason, they seem to believe that this type of relationship is the magical elixir for all that ails them. Again, this is completely untrue.

I understand the unhappiness which comes from living in a lifestyle that is not compatible with one. For years, I struggled with alternating between the traditional and the BDSM world. There were many "vanilla" relationships where I was certainly a "square peg trying to fit into a round hole". Yet, this is different then seeking a way of life to solve any shortcomings in my life.

This is what I see too many trying to do. Sadly, it seems more common on the submissive side as opposed to the domination side. I can only presume because the ones who are not cut out to Dom quickly are exposed as assholes. Nevertheless, subs tend to want to make up for the failures in traditional relationships by suddenly believing a Dom/Master will be Prince Charming with a whip. Not true.

Unless one deals with her core issues, turning to BDSM to solve the loneliness, lack of sex or attention, or past abuses is setting one up for misery. BDSM is part of the real world. It must be approached as such. Life problems will still arise. That is something that you can bank on. To believe otherwise is to try and enter LaLa land. And this is not something that should be done unless one is asleep.

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