Simple BDSM

Many ask me how can they get involved in BDSM. For whatever reason, people seem to feel that entering into this lifestyle requires a major shift in their life. While this can be true for one who chooses to go to the extreme, most find that BDSM is an adjunct to whatever they experience in their daily life. The degree one gets involved tends to change over time.

BDSM is about the breakdown of power. We use different techniques to express our position in the relationship. Whether one is a Dom or a sub, all is done to emphasize that place. Bondage is a very effective way to do this.

Before one gets all hell bent on trying to learn advanced rope tying techniques, we must understand that safety is always the highest priority on our list. Whenever restraining someone, it is vital to allow the bloodflow to continue to whatever part is being bound. Be sure to check that you can insert two fingers in between the limb and the retraining device. This will prevent damage resulting from lack of blood circulation.

On of the simplest ways to get into BDSM is simply to restrain a sub's hands behind his or her back. This can be done with handcuffs if you have them or with some soft rope. Tying the hands up will allow you total domination over this person.

I feel it is best to start with your sexual play. While BDSM can be much more than just sex, it is something that most seem to identify with. With this particular situation, a sub who is naked with the hands behind his or her back is accessible to whatever your whims are. That person has no control over the situation.

We can enhance this scene by implementing a bit of role playing. Obviously, the cop/prisoner comes to mind. You can also use the kidnapper fantasy too. Either will further stress the domination and the submission each feels.

In my book, Erotic Humiliation, I mentioned how verbal humiliation can add to a sex scene. Here is an opportunity where that technique fits in perfectly. When your sub is bound and helpless, you can verbally degrade him or her. For many, this will add to the feeling of the scene. As mentioned in the book, it is important that your sub be of the right psychological state before using this method.

BDSM need not be mysterious or complex. The goal is to enjoy yourself in whatever you do. I find that BDSM can take even mundane activities and make them interesting. The division of power is something that you can experiment with. For me, starting in the bedroom is the best place. From there you can progress to other areas of your life. You are only limited by your imagination.

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