April 18, 2009


We all are conditioned to believe certain things. There are influences placed upon us since the earliest of years. It begins with our parents and grows to include teachers, peers, friends, and the media. Everywhere you turn, someone (thing) is promoting a certain belief.

Obviously there are certain tenets that any group of people will keep. Religion is a prime example. People of the same faith believe similar things. The same holds true for different segments of society. Particular ideals are promoted as being "normal" while anything outside that realm is looked down upon.

This is an important notion to understand if one is going to enter into the BDSM world. The plain truth is that society is not open about readily accepting our way of life. Those who choose to enter into this lifestyle risk scorn from those who are closest to them. Often, family members, as an example, will not understand while demeaning our choice.

My belief is that BDSM is about freedom. Consenting adults are free to opt to live their lives however they see fit. As long as what is being done is not harming others, people are free to life how they like. Yet, this is not how society works. When someone conforms to "their own drummer", certain groups lose control over that person. Conformity is how the powerful exert their control over others. We are all taught to follow the path that is laid out by society.

Sexual freedom is something that few have the courage to undertake. Even though we made lots of progress in the West the last few decades, people in general are still intolerant of those who differ from them. Perhaps this is basic human nature. I do not know. Nevertheless, bringing up the subject of whipping your significant other will get you some odd looks in most circles. People deem that behavior too odd.

BDSM offers the opportunity to shape your life to your desires. It is a process that requires the courage to walk through the judgments of others. Everyone has an opinion and, sadly, most will express it. They believe they know what is best for another. William Shakespeare wrote "to thy own self be true". This statement certainly applies to those who are interested in BDSM.

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