Reality versus Fantasy

There is so much confusion regarding the BDSM world. Many believe that what they see in videos and pictures on the net is reality. Sadly, it is not. The truth is that people who are involved in BDSM are more "normal" than people are usually led to believe. A day in the life of a Master/Dom and slave/sub is not as exotic as some would think.

Life happens to all of us. There are bills to be paid, kids to be tended to, and responsibilities to be met. Choosing this lifestyle, even for an author in it such as myself, does not mean that I can turn my back on the other areas of life. This is true for many of us in the lifestyle. Certainly, there are some who are in a position to partake in this full time. However, I would say they are the minority.

The pictures on the Internet make it seem so simple: the idea of being in complete bondage while being whipped or suspended is intoxicating. Once again, this is not quite reality. First, often those in the pictures are professional actors. There is a cast of people who are experienced in creating a safe environment for the scene to occur. Also, most do not have the financial resources for all the accessories used in those images. To fully stock a "dungeon" easily runs into many thousands of dollars. This is something that is normally outside one's capability. Finally, if you thought hiding your "toys" from the children is tough, try hiding an entire room. Once again, if kids are around, they tend to be those life issues which can arise.

So how do we approach this in a realistic manner? It starts with understanding that what is "romanced" about in stories and pictures on the web is most likely an exaggeration of reality. It is similar to how a love affair is portrayed in the movies. Who the heck ever lives happily ever after without conflict? I can't even go a week without arguing with myself, let alone someone else. The same is true in our lifestyle. It is not accurately portrayed by those who put forth the imagery.