August 11, 2008

Poly Master


Many encounter the poly aspect of the BDSM only to find their surprise at the emotions which arise. As we wrote in other posts, jealousy is something that is best checked at the door. It matters little whether we are referring to a scene or to a long term relationship, the impact is still the same. Jealousy will destroy one if not both relationships.

There are a fair number of Doms/Masters who are involved with numerous people. This is a fact of the lifestyle that one needs to accept if she is to be happy. Failure to do so will result in her misery. When people first hear “poly” they immediately go to the sexual aspect. This is certainly a factor where this emotion needs to be dealt with. However, many encounter issues at greater depths. It is these issues which also crop up to hinder a relationship.

When One is involved with more than one person, His time is split as He sees fit. There is certainly the concept that He will be sexually involved with others. This is one of the areas where things are different than the non-poly situation. He also will divide His time among each in a way that best suits Him. How He decides to do this is not for a sub/slave to determine. Many fail to grasp the full meaning of this concept. If He chooses to have you sit at home while waiting for Him alone, then that is how it is to be.

The natural tendency is for one to want more. Unfortunately, it is not her place to insist upon this. Many will try to “Dom from the bottom” by acting like a spoiled brat. This will also have negative results with most Doms/Masters. They simply will not stand for it. If one cannot accept the terms of the lifestyle, it is best if she seek out something else. Perhaps a traditional model is a better fit for you.

Many will try to alleviate this entire situation by getting with One who is not poly. That might work in the short term. However, He always has the right to take on more in the future if He so chooses. Again, this is a reality of the lifestyle. Many cannot handle this type of situation. The jealousy bug is something that is too great to overcome. Sadly, I saw many who had to depart this way of life because of this single issue.

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