May 13, 2011

Taking Responsibility: A Personal Story

There recently was an event in my household which epitomizes the nature of the M/s relationship and the responsibility each person carries. Over the last few months, I have written posts on different occasions outlining the fact that part of being a Master is to eliminate the idea of blaming. Too many are in the habit of point the finger at others, thus, absolving themselves of responsibility. A Master does not have this luxury.

It Goes Both Ways

The common outlook that I see is that the dominants who I see online want to 'have their cake and eat it too'. For most of the Doms, this pertains to sex. I believe the BDSM allure it to be able to take a woman whenever and however he sees fit. This means not having to deal with the 'honey I have a headache' stuff. Expand this concept out to encompass those who are 'Masters' and we find people who like the fact that someone (a slave) will do whatever is instructed.

Another caveat that enters the picture on the M/s side of things is the fact that many operate from the place that property cannot own property. Ergo, we see many M/s relationships, especially those where the parties are together for an extended period, where the slave hands over all financial earnings to the Master. She owns nothing and everything is his. What a deal!

Of course, this goes both ways. What our online Master and Doms fail to realize is that he bears responsibility in return for what is received. In other words, when one is willing to hand all over to you, including the decisions that are made, the onus falls upon your shoulders. You are the one responsible for the outcome. There is nobody to blame for the shortcomings in the situation. A true Master realizes this without exception. A slave might make mistakes but the ultimate responsibility always lies with him.

A Personal Story

My slave was employed with a company she joined a bit over a year ago. Over that time, there were things that occurred which I did not like in terms of the way she was treated. When she brought these situations to my attention, I guided her as to what her response should be. Obediently, she followed my directions.

A couple weeks ago, she was caught in the middle of a hatchet job. Politics and insecurity were a major reason for her being let go. Needless to say she was upset in addition to being angry. Nobody likes to be fired especially when they are doing the job (better than the rest of the crew). However, it is especially hard on a slave when she knows she has a Master to answer to. The level of disappointing is increased.

Certainly it is easy for me to take the approach that it was her fault she lost the job. I could point to the fact that she should have interacted with some others better and not been so terse with them. However, I need to realize that it was I who was directing her to interact with the different departments in the way she did. If there is any blame to be placed it is squarely on me. I cannot point the finger at her in this instance. She was just being obedient.

Therefore, the loss of household income is a situation I created. This is where my other responsibility enters the picture: the household expenses are mine. I am the one who needs to take care of my slave. Again, I can allude to the fact that a couple thousand in take home pay is no longer coming in. None of this absolves me of the overall responsibility I have as a Master. At the end of the month, it is me who needs to take care of things. That is what a Master does.

This is a far cry from what you hear spewed online. Few are willing to talk about this point. However, if you are going to take on a slave, understand that you are responsible for the life of that person. Therefore, the next time you want to point the finger at someone else, be prepared to cut it off. Being a Master has no place for the absolving oneself of responsibility. If you do, then we will know you are nothing more than a comic book Master seeking to play. True Masters take on the onus of another because he knows that is what he is to do.

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