Who You Are
I tell everyone they should be proud of who they are. Those who buy into shame are apt to be controlled by outside forces. While this might make sense a lifestyle that has control as a central tenet, the fact is that the external forces that I am referring are non-consensual.
Most are slaves to the concepts and ideas of society. Dogma rules the majority of society. People willing drink the 'kool-aid' without a thought about what they are doing. It matters none who is exerting the power, the result is always the same. Enslaving the masses is a goal that goes back to the beginning of civilization.
Governments and religions do this all the time. We see teachings offered up without a thought as to the validity of what is being said. In fact, we are taught that blind faith is an admirable quality. Talk about turning one into a marshmallow. Take away one's ability to think and question and you control them.
Being proud is all about questioning and arriving at your own conclusion. Those who embrace who they are with high esteem are able to formulate their lives as they see fit. They are the ones who resist the Kool-Aid. People who are involved in the BDSM world seem to fit into this category. One typically does not find an alternative lifestyle without questioning the traditional. Most everyone I met within the lifestyle went through this process to one degree or another.
The idea is to embrace who you are. Even though mainstream society has its opinions about how we live, the truth is there are thousands of people who think exactly how you do. Therefore, it is in your best interest to not feel the shame that society tries to bestow upon people who are 'different'.
Pride Within BDSM
This entire conversation takes an interesting turn when we isolate the conversation to BDSM. Remember I wrote that those who believe without question are apt to be controlled in a non-consensual way. That is exactly what happens within the online BDSM community. We see the kiddie doms running around different sites degrading the submissive ones in a misguided effort to gain control. Well, if you find yourself in this situation, use some common sense to salvage yourself.
One who is submissive should be proud. There is no shame in being this way. If you are like many I encountered, your submissiveness is not something that you became but, rather, was uncovered. In other words, it is a natural trait within you. Those who want to look down upon this exemplify the fact that they are clueless as to what this is all about.
Any dominant who thinks that a submissive is less than shows a lack of respect for the lifestyle. The truth is there are two sides to the coin and one cannot exist without another. It is the old yin/yang idea. One needs the other in order to excel. If there was nobody who was submissive, then domination would not take place. Both need each other. While I acknowledge that the power structure is not equal, the fact that it takes two shows that each has a role to play in the relationship.
At the same time, we also see those who want to judge others because of their likes. The simple reality is that there are many different areas of interest. Some want to be used and treated like total sluts. Still others prefer to live as dogs or ponies. Some like diapers (age play). We have daddy doms. Everything you can think of is contained under the umbrella of BDSM. Yet, there are many who want to shame others for their preferences.
This is where pride comes in. Just because some others (or the masses even) do not agree with your preferences, that does not mean that you should not be proud of who you are. Whatever your fetish, take pride in your desires. There is nothing wrong with them. Shed those Puritan ideals who instill so much guilt into people and be free. Why should a woman be ashamed of liking sex (a lot)? It is only because of an archaic belief system that this concept exists. If you like sex, and get a lot of it (i.e. a slut), be proud. So what if some do not approve.
Having a poor self esteem is a dead end way to approach life. Look within yourself with pride. Whatever your desires, let them flow with glee. This is your life to live as you see fit. If you can ingrain this in your thinking, then the next time you encounter those moronic 'doms' online, you can simply tell them to kiss off. You are worth more than they are offering. This is what a healthy pride will give you. It is there for the taking.
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