Today I am going to discuss the different types of beatings and explain how they apply or do not apply to the BDSM lifestyle. Many seem to believe that the physical act of beating another is what is the deciding factor. It is not. Instead we need to look at the motivation behind the activity. This is what determines whether it is appropriate or not.
As always safety is the primary concern. There are three different classifications of beatings in my experience. Only one truly deserves to be involved in the BDSM arena. The other two exhibit emotional issues which need dealing with.
This is a simple one to see. Abuse is consider a beating that does not have an intended purpose other than to harm the other person. This is done by a person who lacks emotional control (i.e. rage). BDSM world or not, abuse is unacceptable regardless of the arena. I heard some proclaim that since a slave is property she is subject to abuse. This is incorrect.
We should be as intolerant of physical abuse as the rest of society. Those who feel the need to use the BDSM world as a guise for their behavior should be exposed as frauds and fakes. These people are despicable at every level.
2. Emotional Release
The second beating is one where a sub/slave requires an emotional release. This is another category that I would say is not part of the BDSM lifestyle. While there is a benefit for the person receiving the beating, I feel that harm is done at the psychological level. A person who is engaging in this behavior is usually the physical pain to alter her emotional space. This shows one lacks the ability to properly handle what is going on in her life.
BDSM is a lifestyle for those who are psychologically and emotionally able to handle it. There are many who try to enter this way of life who are suffering from traumatic experiences in the past. Before entering into a BDSM relationship, it is often best for these types to get the proper counseling beforehand. Sadly, few seem to take that approach. Instead they use this method as a way of avoiding whatever is taking place within themselves. Part of the growth process is developing emotionally so that one is a strong person.
This is the final beating and the one that is commonly misunderstood by outsiders. The truth is there are many who receive great pleasure by experiencing a lot of pain. To them, a beating of this sort is refreshing. They simply love it. Many love the feel of the accessories as they strike the bare skin and the sting that ensues. Pain lovers are often sexually stimulated by the feelings instilled through a beating of this nature. This is what commonly happens in the BDSM world.
Another factor of this is the punishment beating. I will state that we need to distinguish between a punishment and abuse. There are times one is paddled for wrongful actions which in no ways nears the boundaries of abuse. Discipline is a part of our life. However, as with children, the difference between abusing and disciplining a child is obvious. The outside world sees it all as abuse yet we who live in this manner know it is not.
In summary, not all beatings are created equal. There is a proper way to approach one when using physical techniques such as these. Nevertheless, the mental motivation is crucial as to why one is engaging in this activity. Anything other than the pleasure/pain dichotomy is inappropriate. That is not BDSM.
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20 hours ago