November 19, 2009

Online Prospects

Much attention is given to the online BDSM world, specifically, M/s and D/s. It is interesting to notice how many are taken in by the cons that occur online. What would normally be dismissed with common sense is, instead, swallowed whole-heartedly. This creates a situation where many are harmed.

What is one to do when faced with the daunting task of trying to find someone online? How can you succeed in your search while protecting yourself from the predators and game players? That is what I seek to answer here.

To start, there are many genuine people online who are seeking exactly what they say. They are real in every sense of the word. Their intentions are explicitly stated with no hidden agenda. These are the people that we are all seeking.

My experience leads me to believe the percentage of people falling into this category is around 5%. I feel that 95% of those one encounters in the online BDSM world are full of crap to one degree or another. This applies equally for those who profess to be submissive as it does for those who are dominant.

Therefore, before investing a great deal of energy into someone, understand that there is a 95% chance that you are dealing with someone who is not after the same thing you are. The Internet is a mechanism which allows one to be totally anonymous. It is rather simple to create an online persona and run with it. For many, they simply lack the ability to recognize the pretenders.

Online is a wonderful way to strike up a "relationship" with someone. However, caution always needs to be applied. Offering simple "tests" is a wonderful way to verify what one is saying. For example, if you are a dominant, give your new submissive an exercise to do. If he or she completes it, there is hope. Failure to do so leads me to state "move on". A person who fails on the first go is likely telling a story.

As a Master, I know that my place within a relationship is something that is earned, not given. There were a lot of years spent learning what this lifestyle is all about. This offered me the training to be an experienced Master. For this reason, I am comfortable and confident in my abilities. While not perfect, I have had success living this lifestyle.

That being said, anytime I interact with a submissive, I instruct her to call me "Sir". This is showing the proper respect of the position of dominant without knowing my specific credentials. Even if there is someone who feels that I am worthy of respect, I still insist upon this protocol.

This is a sharp contrast to many I see in a chatroom. These fools feel that they are worthy of being called Master by everyone who is submissive. Perhaps some are; most are not. Nevertheless, they are indignant when it comes to this. Somehow they believe that the title makes it so. Remember, it is easy to assume a persona online. However, the persona does not make it so.

If I called myself an astronaut, do you think NASA would deem me qualified to fly into space. While I might qualify as a space cadet (or space case), being an astronaut requires a certain degree of experience and training. The same is true in this lifestyle. People who claim to be a Master simply because they capitalized their name are closer to being space cadets than true dominants.

Respect is something that I earn; it is not given. This is true for all aspects of life. If you encounter someone who demands certain treatment simply because they believe they are entitled to it, tell them to go jump in a hole. To me, there is a great chance they fall into the 95% bracket we previously mentioned.

Remember these tidbits when you are interacting with others online. We will cover this topic in greater detail in future posts. For now, just use common sense in your approach to this lifestyle. You will not be sorry.

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Shannon Edwards on November 19, 2009 at 7:42 PM said...

You Realy Made Some Good Points There. I Did a Search on the Topic and Found Most People Will Agree with Your Words. As an Active BDSM and Fetish Lifestyle Person, I am Always Searching Online for Articles that Can Help Me. Thank You!

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