November 26, 2009

Being Careful

The Internet is a wonderful medium for interacting. However, it is also a vehicle which can cause a great deal of trouble. Over the last few months, we highlighted the perils associated with online BDSM relationships and how not everyone is forthright with the truth. Nevertheless, there is another area that I want to expand upon since I see it occur so regularly.

In my book, An Owned Life, I cover this subject in greater detail. Whenever someone is new to the lifestyle, they invariably make the mistake of telling the wrong person about their choice. This is magnified when one opts to enter into the M/s facet of this world.

The fact of the matter is that we are involved in something that goes against the societal grain. This way of life is called an "alternative lifestyle" since it is something different from the mainstream. It is an important factor to remember.

Even when dealing with a D/s relationship, I opt not to explain it to anyone on the outside world. To start, they cannot comprehend what I am talking about. Society promotes equality. The idea of a total power exchange simply baffles most people.

The second reason to keep my choice under wraps is the simple fact that information has a way of biting us in the ass. People are always seeking ways to use things against us. We witness this in court battles, interactions with exes, and relationships with peers. Many are simply trained to attempt to elevate themselves at the expense of others.

I see so many who choose to post their entire lives on the Internet. This amazes me since I always wonder if the person ever considered the fact that few care. Most are involved in their own lives. The idea of sharing every facet with others is stupid and dangerous. There seems to be no limit to what people will post.

Many who are doing this suffer from low self esteem. The Internet offers a medium where anyone can become a blogger. Instantly, the writer is important (at least in his or her mind). They mistakenly believe that there are those who hang on their every word. Their belief is that this medium offers them a place to have their say. While that is true, they need to develop some type of filtering device since much of what I see is completely inappropriate.

My conclusion is the people who write this stuff are engaging in a desperate cry for help. I believe many of these people need professional counseling. When I see what some post, I am saddened to know they have children who are in their custody. Unstable people are the ones who create horrific events. And, you only need to read a few posts to quickly garner how unstable they really are.

Being careful also transcends to other areas of our life in addition to online. Many fail to recognize that children and family members are not to be clued in on how we live. This holds true for "vanilla" friends. Many, even within the lifestyle, are terrible gossips. They have to talk to amuse themselves. These are the people who will express a secret to anyone who will listen. Many do not need an ex knowing that he or she is now owned. Nor does one's children need to know the lifestyle choices one makes. These are people who could cause damage with the information.

Nevertheless, in the next week I will come across many "writers" posting the intimate details of their lives. The desperate cry for help will continue while doing nothing more than embarrassing the person making the posts. Eventually, someone will get bitten because the break in anonymity by another who was supposedly a "friend".

My only advice to you is to follow the edicts of the Mafia: keep your mouth shut; tell them nothing. The less information most people share, the better. Few seem to realize they lack the practical experience to share much worthwhile anyway. In this instance, less is more.

Click here for your version of An Owned Life.


L. on November 30, 2009 at 10:52 PM said...

I can't agree more with this. You have to be so careful when dealing with the net. So many people appear to be who they are not over a screen. I put myself in a really bad situation this past summer because of meeting someone from the net. And I agree about not putting everything out on the internet for others to read. - I like all your posts and am enjoying reading them and seeing what you have to say.

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