To thine own self be true

William Shakespeare penned these words over 500 years ago. I don't know if he was into BDSM, but it certainly applies in my estimation. To me, this is the foundation upon which a person can create a fantastic BDSM life for him or herself. Without this concept in that person's heart, everything will eventually unravel.

I was chatting with a slave of mine about someone we both know who was "experimenting" with the lifestyle. It seems that her Dom recently passed away. I was reminded of some conversations I had with this woman some time ago. Our interaction was strictly online play. In my estimation, she was not ready to make a commitment to this way of life. Basically, she was not sure it was for her.

Whenever I am confronted with someone who is in this situation, I always tell that person that he or she must decide if this is what is truly wanted. Nobody else can decide that for them. It is an individual decision. As mentioned, without it, all else is doomed.

There are too many people who want to rush into committed BDSM relationships without having any idea whether this is what is wanted. I often encounter women who want to find a Dom to see if this is for them. Sadly, these are the ones who get taken advantage of by the pretenders that exist. Finding a Dom is not the first part of the process. Determining our true desires is what is the initial phase that each of us must pass through. To relate it to the traditional world, this approach is like finding a husband to determine if you are heterosexual or not. Simply, it is putting the cart before the horse.

Many people have strong opinions about this way of life. Sadly, there is a lot of misconception out there about what we are into. We receive pressure from not only society, but our own family and friends. Most people fail to accept when someone chooses to live life different from the norm. It is sad, but true.

For this reason, everyone who looks at this lifestyle needs to be true to him or herself. Search deep within you to resolve if this is what you really want. Do not try to turn to this way of life to make up for some lack in your other way of life. That is also a recipe for disaster. People who succeed in BDSM relationship do so because they know it is the life that they want to lead.