I hesitated to write this post for some time. Part of my motivation is always to present information that is correct for the masses. Sadly, with all the idiots out there pretending to be involved in BDSM, it is easy to put something forth that gets misconstrued. Therefore, I am always mindful that what I write is not able to be altered in a dangerous way. Some of my more "extreme" views are tempered on here for the simple reason that I do not want the jackasses getting a hold of them and posting them in emails to unsuspecting/novice subs. It is important to remember there is depth and context to everything. So, something that appears one way, might mean something totally different when viewed through the proper lens with all information.
Nevertheless, I feel this is too important a topic to overlook.
Animal Kingdom
We are part of the Animal Kingdom. This is a fact that seems lost on so many. In fact, it is as if mankind goes out of it's way to ignore this central issue. With each new advancement, our image of ourselves escalates. Unfortunately, this only moves us further away from reality.
The inescapable truth is we are creatures. Everything that applies to other animals is applicable to us. We all reproduce, eliminate waste, eat for energy, and, ultimately die. Our basic essence is similar no matter how much we try to deny it. Of course, we see how humans react to this when considering the subject of death. Isn't it amazing that the most enlightened beings are the only ones who fear death, something that is a natural part of life? Do you see the household cat worried that he/she is entering the "golden" years of life? Does the dog worry about how many more years he or she has left? It seems that mankind is the only one who is aware and concerned about what death means and when it will occur. The rest of the Animal Kingdom just goes about it's day without giving it a thought. Makes you wonder how advanced we really are.
I bring this point up to show how we, as a species, take great pains to avoid what is natural. Death is a part of life yet most want to act as if it does not exist. At the same time, many, because of their hierarchical view of themselves, choose to ignore some of the most basic tenets of life. Again, we are part of this realm which means there are certain things we cannot avoid. Therefore, I believe many lack the ability to embrace the primal side of man. Ironically, the word primal carries a negative connotation when applied to our species yet is there anything in the history of the world more barbaric than humans? The answer is no. All evidence points to the fact that we are still capable of living among our most basic instincts. Thus, perhaps it is best to embrace this aspect of ourselves.
Deep Within Our Core
My regular readers know I refer quite often to our "core". This is the area located right at ones pubic line. This is the area where I believe all our natural instincts and characteristics reside. It is here where one finds his or her submission or domination. We also uncover certain passions and kinks here. This is why, I believe, that many get erotically aroused when conversing about D/s and things of this nature. The part of us stimulated, the core, is resident right at our genitalia. Hence, this stimulation manifests itself via this avenue. That is why women get wet and men hard at the thought of domination and submission among other things.
Another aspect that I intertwined in my unfolding of BDSM came from the application of some ideas from the eastern philosophies. Those who understand the Chakra system can see how the core is present in the primal. To give a brief overview, there are 7 chakras going from the crown (top of the head) to the base (located at the bottom of the genitalia and anus). The heart is the middle chakra with 3 being above it and 3 below it. As you can guess, the three above it are considered of the intellect while the 3 lower ones are of the primal. Again, the core, which I feel is where our base is, resides in the primal.
I often suggest to people to go deep within themselves to find out what strikes them as true for them. Entry into the BDSM world is a journey within. Too many want to follow old habits and simply exist in the intellectual. Reading about BDSM and pondering it mentally will net some results but will yield little in terms of value to the individual. It is only by delving deep within oneself that he or she can ascertain what truly excites him or her. In other word, here is where one finds out what it will take to be fulfilled.
Vanilla With A Twist
This is the section which I was hesitant to write about publicly for fear that the nitwits get a hold of it. Yet, I feel it too important to overlook so I figured it best just to put it out there in the best context I can.
I see so many profiles of people who are looking for that special someone within the BDSM world. Now, bear in mind, I am not knocking this idea at all and do believe we are social creatures designed to interact with someone on a deep level. Many are looking for a loving relationship within the context of BDSM. That is fine. However, the problem I see is that many seem to want basically a vanilla relationship with a twist of BDSM. Again, this often is clarified by asking the individual if D/s is something he or she is or something that is done. Answering the later means this individual is more of the vanilla with a twist variety. Those who understand that domination or submission is what we are (because we located it in our core) are more apt to embrace what I am about to write.
BDSM is about power. It is about control. We engage in the act of taking. Many aspects of it are rough and forceful. It is raw when compared to the other aspects of society. We are in touch with nature not engaging in the myth of equality. Lines are drawn and may the best man win. Even our kinks are designed to be crude and violent in some instances. Fantasies such as rape and abduction exemplify this. Slavery is a basic component of our way of life for many with some decisions being lifelong. In short, we find freedom and fulfillment in ways that most of society few as perverted or sick.
Therefore, BDSM is not vanilla with a twist. I see too many who reside in this world with a vanilla mindset trying to apply it to BDSM. This creates a conflict which cannot be overcome. To enjoy success in BDSM, one needs a radical shift in thinking. To start, we must be more open-minded than society in general. There are many aspects of BDSM which will not be something that applies to your life. That is fine. However, the fact that it is a part of the desires of others means that you ought to leave your judgment at home. At the same time, our freedom comes from being "owned". All of us, who are dedicated and true to this way of life, are owned, first and foremost by it. As I wrote in this blog post, we all have a role to play. Even dominants have service they are suppose to offer that nobody else can provide. In other words, most of what we do has a deeper meaning when one is willing to search it out.
Primal
One of the main aspects of BDSM is kink. Now, I am not going to delve into the different areas in this post but it is safe to say the things people are into is wide and varied. Kink is a part of our existence in BDSM. It is one of the things that draws many of us to this way of life. But what is kink exactly? Basically, we are talking about sex, pure and uncensored. Sex is at the basis of who and what we are as humans even if society and conditioning wants us to believe otherwise. Without sex, there is no life.
Sex is often the manifestation or avenue used to express our primal desires. As mentioned, many of our fantasies reveal the primal urges which are deep within us. Those who get turned on by rape or abduction are exhibiting a true aspect of themselves. Power is a primary motive in life. Some are driven by the need to have it (dominants) while others want to feel it over them (submissives). The idea of abduction and rape reflects this. Consider rape...what is a more basic exchange of power than one being penetrated, a rather intimate act, by another without consent. It is the most primal form of taking, something society tries to hide from. Yet, rape is an ever-present part of mankind existence. To the victors go the spoils. This line exhibits what conquering armies did throughout the ages. To the winner went plenty of slaves (males) and females to use. And trust me, the sex was not consensual in most cases. It is power in it's most basic form...the ability to take what one wants.
We all have primal urges if we would open up our minds enough to delve honestly within ourselves. Unfortunately, society has a way of conditioning people so they are scared to look at this part. Instead, they try to focus upon those things which stimulate the upper chakras (the intellect) while only briefly touching upon the primal side. Is it any wonder they are called "dark fantasies"? The fact that most will not allow them to see the light of day which comes from being open means they are locked away. I find this to be disingenuous with oneself. Instead, I opt for the approach that it is up to me to find what stimulates my core and reveal it.
Now is where I must insert one of my typical caveats especially as it applies to this topic. I am by no means advocating things such as rape, abduction, or brutality. Let me make myself clear: BDSM is about CONSENT. We are not into non-consensual activities. Being aware of one's primal urges and seeking positive avenues for their outlet is part of what BDSM is about. However, we do not engage in abusive behavior either within the confines of a relationship or by involving those who are not part of this way of life. Too many people are abusers using BDSM as the umbrella to cover their misguided activities. These people are not BDSM but psychopaths who need to be locked up. Let me reiterate: even when dealing with the primal, BDSM is consensual.
I am going to follow up this topic with some more posts based upon the feedback I get. However, the point I want to make at this moment is to ask you, what turns you on? What excites you? This is a good place to start determining what is in your core and what primal urges you have. Domination and submission are often sexually arousing because they do touch something that is naturally within us. Also, the fact that we are dealing with power, we again are back to our primal instincts. The jungle is ruled by survival of the fittest. In this arena, those who rule are the ones who are able to dominate others while taking care of their own. Some have the primal instinct to take and protect and others want to be taken and protected. Each has a responsibility to fulfill that in others.
BDSM is not all about sex nor is it exclusively whips and chains. However, these aspects of this way of life do reveal primal desires that each person has when engaging in these behaviors. Ultimately, we all seek fulfillment and, in my view, it is difficult to attain this if we overlook the primal. Perhaps it is time to embrace this side of ourselves a bit more or at least explore what is there so we are aware.
Until next time, be safe.
DN
Click here for your version of An Owned Life.
Click here Be sure to check out our new FREE social networking site An Owned Life Community.
0 comments:
Post a Comment