February 22, 2015

The Power of the Mind

Today I am going to focus upon something that is applicable to all aspects of our lives.  However, the fact that I see so many within the BDSM world who are "wishy washy", I felt it necessary to aim it at our way of life.

Recently, I was given a copy of Arnold Swartzenegger's book on bodybuilding.  One of the sections in the book deals with the mindset of the individual.  Let me tell you, reading his words, I can see why he has accomplished so much in his life.  The ability to mentally see what he wants is incredible.  Also, when he makes a decision, that is the final decisions.  In short, he will accept no other possibility other than what he decided.  Success in bodybuilding, politics, and the movies all can be credited with this outlook.  He basically determines what he wants and allows nothing to interfere with the outcome he foresees.

This is powerful stuff.  The mind is a powerful instrument.  However, the question is how many of us are really using it for our utmost benefit?  Looking at the average person, I would say the answer is not many of us.  Getting even more isolated, I would say that most enter the BDSM world without applying this power to our lives.

The process begins by deciding what you want.  This, for most individuals, is a difficult task.  Most people do not achieve what they want in life because, quite frankly, they have absolutely no idea what it is they want.  Therefore, they are trying to hit an ambiguous target.  Clarity is power yet most approach their lives with fuzzy glasses on.

As I continually state, BDSM is a wide and varied world.  There are many things to experience, explore, and experiment with.  Knowing exactly what you want upon entering this way of life could be problematic.  Many of us found that what we first thought we wanted either changed or evolved as time went by.  With new information came new revelations and conclusions.  This process could apply to particular fetishes or forms of play.  However, more importantly, it often applies to our inner core and what it will take for us to be fulfilled.  For example, one might believe she desires living as a sub, with some say over her life.  Nevertheless, after some experience and much research, perhaps it is revealed to her that she truly craves being in a tpe full control relationship.  While this was not evident when she first entered, it became apparent as time went by.  Hence, with more information, a new conclusion was drawn.

Many mistakenly believe that subs/slaves are weak.  They are not, at least by their position.  Sure, there are many weak slaves just as there are many weak dominants/masters.  One's title does not determine the strength or weakness of the individual.  What is the deciding factor is the mindset one has.  A strong slave is one who has the belief in herself and her ability to manifest what she wants in her life.  No matter what obstacles are presented, she has the ability to surmount them to reach her ultimate outcome.  Notice how her position as slave has nothing to do with indicating her strength or weakness.

Having the mindset that Arnold has goes a long way for one fulfilling her desires.  As you can see, the strong slave has the ability to overcome whatever challenges arise.  The same is true on the dominant side.  This is because whatever is standing in the way of her fulfillment, time, effort, and energy will be spent removing that.  The inner self will alter the outer self.

I will give you an example.  There is a slave who is intent on reaching a particular weight by a certain time.  She is driven by the desire to condition her body so as to be a better slave for her owner.  Naturally, the visual/physical/sexual aspect is one part of the equation.  However, she is also driven by the need to be healthy for her Master.   She does not want him to have to deal with things such as diabetes or other ailments which can result from her excess weight.

So what is she doing?  From what I can tell, she is working her ass off (literally).  Her diet was completely revamped along with working out every single day.  She has an exact number in mind that is her outcome and is not stopping until it is reached.  In her mind, she is the ideal weight she set forth for herself.  Her actions match her beliefs.  She provided certainty to her life by creating the outcome before it ever happened.  This certainty, while at the mental level, is materializing in her life each time she goes down a dress size.  Overall, she will reach her goal because she will not accept anything else.  That is the power of the mind.

I see so many questioning what they encounter and this way of life overall.  There is nothing for me to do but acknowledge that there are many frustrations with the BDSM world.  The fact that we live in the Internet Age brings about a host of other issues that were not present 20 years ago.  While we are able to reach people from all over the world, lost is the protocol, verification, and Old Guard mindset which ruled this way of life for so long.  Now, any idiot with a keyboard can become whatever he or she wishes.  This creates a tremendous amount of pain and frustration when dealing with people who are not as they proclaim.  It is enough to make anyone consider a return to vanilla (I wrote a post about this).   And it is this exact point that one must decide, truly decide, what he or she wants.

Those of us who are truly committed to this way of life are of the mindset that we belong nowhere else.  There is no option of going back to vanilla because we know full well that holds nothing for us.  We already did the dance on that floor and stumbled all over our feet.  Now we are where we belong, in the world of BDSM, and will succeed here no matter what.  This is our mindset.  Our commitment makes leaving impossible.  We are going to go through whatever we have to so that our goals are met.  Our minds are made up in this regard.  It is from here that we can start the process of finding those who fit the qualifications that we are seeking.

As you can see, the power of the mind and the ability to truly decide can radically transform your life.  Another way this affects us in the BDSM world is when it comes to certain abilities or forms of play.  There are many talents that people acquire after they enter the BDSM world.  There is no aspect of our way of life that is natural or inherent in terms of the ability.  Yes, our domination or submission is a natural trait yet being a master or slave is a learned skill.  So is the ability to use a bull whip (properly I hope as evidenced by this post).  Tying up submissives using Shibari is something people spend years working on.  Studying anatomy will make impact play more successful and safer.  Knowing how to properly dominate another, after oneself, is also picked up through study and practice.  My point is that no matter what you seek, it is available to you if you will commit to it in your mind.  And what does that mean?  It means that you are going to achieve that end regardless of what you are confronted with.  In short, it means not giving up...never giving up.

You can have all you want within this way of life.  BDSM offers you the opportunity to fulfill all that is within you.  It takes commitment, practice, and energy.  Little will come to us overnight.  There are many frustrations and setbacks we encounter along the way.  Part of the process is taking these "negative" situations and learning from there.  There is a lesson in everything.  Over time, as long as we remain committed to our ends, we will find that we are progressing.  Even if we do not have all that we seek, i.e. another person(s), our skills and abilities can expand.  Time spent researching, learning, and studying the world of BDSM is never wasted.  Each new bit of information will help us uncover more about ourselves if we are simultaneously looking within.  The inner mirror will reveal what is at our core.  Knowledge about ourselves is the most important part of the growth process.  It is also where we can improve to be able to offer those we encounter more.

Therefore, I suggest you start applying the power of your mind.  Stop waffling as it applies to your life.  If domination or submission is something you truly are, then approach this like your life depended upon it.  Start making concrete decisions that cut off any other result.  Align all your thoughts, feelings, and actions towards that decision.  If you do, you will find that, as time passes, more of what you seek is opening up to you.  This is the power of the mind.  First you think it, decide upon it, and do whatever is necessary to achieve it.  With this formula, how can you fail?


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