May 6, 2014

Clearing Blockage


Over the last few months I wrote about the need for us to go deeper within ourselves to understand what it is that we truly want.  I believe wholeheartedly that BDSM is an opportunity for us to explore the deepest regions within oneself which, in turn, also enables us to do the same with another person (people).  As all sages will tell you, the journey within is extremely difficult.  There are a lot of things which hinder our path.  I will explore some of them today in an effort to simplify things.

Fear

Fear is the greatest obstacle in life.  What is ironic is that most of it is self-created and does not really exist.  I believe it was Edison who said "I feared over 10,000 things in my life most of which never came to pass".  Basically, fear is a mechanism the mind uses to paralyze us.  The mind craves certainty.  Change, by its definition, means uncertainty.  Hence the mind will do whatever it can to maintain the status quo which it knows.  Entering the unknown is not something people excel at.  Society teaching pushes us to be "conservative" with our actions.  Safety is promoted as opposed to experimentation and adventure.  We see this in how parents interact with small children.  Children are constantly told no at a young age.  Certainly there are valid concerns regarding a child's safety.  However, our society tends to go overboard to the point where it creates weakness.  It is only through falling that we truly strengthen ourselves.

It takes great strength to look deep within oneself.  As stated, it is not an easy journey.  There is always the possibility that what one uncovers is not in alignment with how he or she is presently living.  Of course, this means change might be in the cards which brings about the uncertainty which sets the mind in motion.  Always remember its goal of the status quo.

When one goes deeper within, one is forced to accept responsibility for one's life.  I believe that many operate at the shallow level because it allows them to play the "victim".  When one is unaware of what he or she wants, it is easy to point towards everyone else for his or her unhappiness.  Yet, when one uncovers what is within, there are few excuses one can use.  If unhappy, it is your fault..plain and simple.  Once one knows what is desired, if it is not gotten, there is nobody to blame but oneself.  Losing the alibis for one's situation is a scary proposition.   It is far easier to whine about life rather than take action to change it.  This is a universal truth and we see it across all cultures.  BDSM gives us the opportunity to overcome this human defect and push ourselves to another level.  While not easy, the rewards are incredible.

Before going any further, I must broach the topic of situations.  There are many people who are in difficult circumstances.  While uncovering what is within is one of the steps to taking responsibility for our lives, it also means that we have to continue to be adult about things.  People are often in situations where other people are affected by our decisions.  This is something that we must take into consideration.  I find so many who find the BDSM way of life and are so overtaken that they are ready to cast off everything and move to another to start life with that one.  Well, one needs to look at the present arrangement to determine what is the best path to follow.  Simply up and leaving is rarely the most responsible choice.  Of course, an argument can easily be made that staying, especially for the wrong reasons, is not the responsible thing to do.  Again, we encounter the point where one needs to go within to further uncover what the proper steps are.  It is good to remind everyone that one of the wonderful aspect of BDSM is the limitless ways that one can structure life.

The bottom line is fear is an illusion yet is such a powerful force in our lives.  Going deeper requires overcoming the things that fear tells us.  It is easy to project out and draw negative conclusions.  This is what most people do.  However, when one is unfulfilled with the present circumstances, even to a small degree, it is worthy of a look.  There is something awry which requires attention.  People forget that good is the enemy of best.  Simply because things are good as they presently are, that does not mean that something is not better.  Again, without traveling within, we will never know.

Belief System

Growing up in the Western Culture, I find shallow is the norm.  People cannot even begin to fathom what deep is.  We live in a world of McMansions, XBox, name brands items, and cell phones.  Keeping up with the Jonses is a national pastime.  Madison Avenue teaches us how to feel and what is worthy.  Wearing X perfume and you are worthy.  You deserve X car to drive even if you cannot afford the payments.  Of course, if you cannot afford it, charge it...you should not be without.  We are trained to believe that what we have is what determines our worth.  Of course, as most find out, there is an emptiness to it.  People have houses full of stuff yet are unfulfilled.  Nice cars, fancy clothing, expensive technology, and people are popping pills like they are candy in an effort to change how they feel.  Consumerism is the disease of more.  Unfortunately, there is never enough.

I bring all this up to help you understand how our belief system is shaped.  People determine their self worth by what they are taught by these same advertisers.  Our conditioning is such that it becomes a reflex.  People buy stuff without even thinking about it believing that it will provide some pleasure.  In many instances it does but it is often fleeting.  This is the myth that we were all given.

Spoon fed beliefs serve to imprison us.  The BDSM world is not the only one where slavery is alive and well.  We see the vanilla world is full of it providing ideas which put us in servitude to those who are pulling the cords.  Going deep within oneself is not espoused by society for the simple reason that one might uncover what he or she truly believes.  This is contrary to the goal of society which is to control.  Free thinkers are not looked upon with esteem.  They are radicals and rebellious.  Since they don't follow the mantra, they are a problem.  Contrast this with the basic idea within BDSM which is to explore, unearth, or try whatever you desire.  BDSM encourages you to develop your own belief system where all is possible.  My agenda is not to instill a belief system within you but, rather, to teach you to question the one you are presently operating under.  It is sad how most of us are products of our environment and will defend beliefs which are not even our own.

So I challenge you to question all of your beliefs.  Ask yourself why you believe this (whatever this is).  Also question why you believe in limitations and having to make sacrifices.  Is it possible that you can structure your situation so that you do not have to choose one or the other but can have both?  Society tells us we cannot do this yet I find BDSM allows for it.

As you question and examine your beliefs, you will find that some of the blockage of going deeper is removed.  It is difficult to question long held values and fear will arise.  We get very comfortable with what we know.  However, BDSM opens up a completely new world to us if we will allows ourselves to enter it.  Present circumstances, existing beliefs systems, and fear are only obstacles along the way.  Looking past them to determine what is truly important is how we grow.  Sure, some changes might arise which are difficult.  Nevertheless, living life which is not congruent with our core can be even more painful.  Consider this as you begin to question who you are and the life you are presently living.

DN  

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