March 14, 2011

Society Is Uptight

This post comes from the perspective of an American. I know the views differ around the world. However, the overall consensus is that we are still extremely uptight about sex. This outlook carries over into any type of 'alternative' lifestyle. Anything that is different from the sexual norm is considered taboo.

Sexual Immaturity

I use the term immaturity because that is exactly how I view the perspective that society maintains. Overall, it is sage to say that we operate under a Judeo-Christian mindset. The religious institutions still maintain a great deal of power. Their influence extends into the bedroom with so many suffering from extreme guilt. Religions throughout the ages used sex to control the behaviors of the minions who are following. Consider this: if you can control what someone does in the privacy of their own homes, that is power. And these institutions exert tremendous power.

Few ever take the time to consider what they believe. They are 'Kool-Aid' drinkers to to the nth degree. The Pastor stated it so it must be true. That is their outlook. Religions historically engaged in extreme brainwashing starting at a young age. Hell, if we did that with BDSM and started indoctrinating children at the age of 5 or 6, we would be thrown in jail. But add in a religious element to change things completely.

Now, the point here is not to hammer religion which I could do for hours. My emphasis is to show how people are intolerant of anything outside their belief system. Sexual freedom is not something these people are high on. In fact, they are not lovers of freedom at all. Dogma is meant to do one thing: control. It is the most effective weapon on those who forgo their ability to think.

The bottom line is that sex has gotten a bad rap. It is amazing that something that is so pleasurable and necessary for the survival of the species was turned into an act that contains so much guilt. We see this in all aspects of society. Pornography is stigmatized and 'the work of the devil'. Nudity is considered taboo with people having to fight in court to be able to breast-feed in public (what is sicker than a society that will not allow a woman to feed an infant when needed?). Overall, people want to approach sex like it is a dirty family secret. Everyone knows it is there but few acknowledge it openly.

This outlook reminds me of the young teenager who gets his hands on his first 'girly' magazine. The immaturity level is astounding. To ignore something that is a basis of our life while turning it into a taboo is asinine. But that is exactly how society views it in general. Some are more open minded then others but, overall, vanilla monogamous sexual interludes within the confines of a committed relationship is what is expected. Anything outside of that norm is deviant and perverted.


BDSM certainly falls into the category according to societal outlook. Those who enter this life with the urge to tell all about his/her decision quickly realize that open-mindedness is not a strong point of most people. I have seen many who had their families and friends turn away from them simply because of their choice to structure a relationship in a manner which differed from the norm. So much for that thing called 'unconditional love'.

I believe BDSM is a path that many find so as to be true to oneself. Society still believes in the myth of equality. However, many traveled that route only to find it lacking. Many of us do not want to live in a split power relationship. Whether one is submissive or dominant, I find that most 'true lifestyler' are simply being true to themselves. Their decisions are based upon what is correct for their cores. They do not develop this aspect of themselves but, rather, uncover it.

Nevertheless, once again, we see society telling us to go against what is natural. We are told that pursuing those feelings is wrong because to engage in that activity is a 'sin'. So people have a neurotic outlook regarding sex. At the same time, we are taught that there is one path to relationship happiness and that is the traditional one man and one woman. Forget everything outside of that. Homosexuality, bisexuality, and polyamorous relationships are all out. So, too is anything that deals with whips, chains, and paddles. This is not considered normal.

In conclusion, society is uptight about matters pertaining to sex. Remember this the next time you have the urge to tell someone of your alternative lifestyle. They will not be as accepting as you might think. Power exchange is not something that most are taught. Of course, and this is a final swipe at the world religions, what other organization has historically been as sexually biased towards woman and implemented a more rigid power breakdown? Hypocrisy is the word that comes to mind. But, again, that is a different subject altogether.

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