Our Loved Ones: The Worst
It is sad but usually the strongest opinions come from those who are closest to us. Most will proclaim they 'only want us to be happy'. However, I challenge you to do something that goes against their beliefs and you will see what the real meaning of this is. What people often are saying is 'I want you to be happy as long as you are doing what I believe you should be doing'.
This theory is tested regularly by teenagers all over the world. However, they are not the only ones who need to be spitting in the face of conventional wisdom. Sadly, there is always an agenda and it is meant to control you. Look at the religious bodies; many of them are intent on pushing their ideas upon you. Parents have a similar outlook; most parents are intolerant of alternative choices of an offspring. This is reality and to deny it is foolhardy.
BDSM: One Path to Freedom
To me, BDSM is about freedom. Any time a person makes a choice that goes against the traditional model, that person is exercising an option to live as he or she sees fit. This is what freedom means. Slavery is living according to how others decide. This is not what mankind was meant to do. I believe that our internal fibers seek to live in accordance to what is within us.
Understanding that most of society behaves like obedient slaves is paramount to comprehending what occurs. To start, many are jealous of someone living in a way that makes them happy. There are so many people who are miserable and find it easier to rip someone else down as opposed to improving their lives. These people share the same blood line with us in many instances. This means their own happiness is transferred to us if allowed.
BDSM is a private affair. This may seem strange when posting on a public forum. However, the truth is that people should keep their private affairs to themselves. It is no one's business how you choose to structure your relationship. Many enter this way of life and want to tell everyone what they found. This is a bad move. Most seem to find an unexpected backlash. It is your freedom that is important. Allow others to live as they see fit. Concentrate your efforts upon your own life. This is what BDSM is all about.
Courage
It takes courage to search out and find what makes you happy. It also requires tremendous strength to follow that path once you find it. BDSM is not something for those who are weak. Many seem to believe that people who live this way, especially submissives, do so out of weakness. This is incorrect. While many will enter this life from that place, those who succeed are not weak. Strength is evident in every true sub/slave I ever met. Simple consider the potential backlash from loved ones to decide how easy a choice it is. Many have to make extremely tough decisions and leave situations that are fairly comfortable. Courage is their only ally in many instances.
Society knows that it is not easy to face these decisions. Every step of the way, it uses guilt to tear down one's confidence. When one's self esteem is low enough, then it is simple to control that person. And this is exactly what society does. Those who fear being pointed out as different blindly obey whatever dogma is handed to them. Few ever question what those beliefs are. Instead, they simply accept it as true and follow that path. Individuality is erased and replaced. One is nothing more than a conformist.
Therefore, to excel in the BDSM lifestyle, one needs to be an individual. Conforming to a set of beliefs that are never questioned is not what we are about. Each of us needs to take a path that makes sense in our own minds. To do this we risk being ostracized by those who we love. Nevertheless, it is what is often required for us to find our own happiness and fulfillment.
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