June 2, 2010

Attitude Seeps Through

Many Masters are rather emphatic about what they will allow their slaves to say. While some allow slaves to speak freely many times, there are a portion out there who preclude this behavior. Instead, they prefer to have a slave keep her opinions to herself.


There are times in any relationship where disagreements are bound to raise. For whatever reason, many feel that a BDSM relationship, especially M/s, is exempt from this characteristic. Anyone who lived real time for even a few months knows this is not the truth. Over time, disagreements will arise. How they are handled determines the chance of success within this particular relationship.

It is impossible for a slave to like every directive that is given to her. There are times where a Master will assign a task which is met with resistance. This is human nature. The ones who have the right to express themselves can often voice their concern. However, the ones who are not allowed to respond in this way must suppress whatever thoughts are involved.

Attitude Cannot Be Hidden

I am not advocating either option in this post. People are responsible for designing their relationships as they see fit for those involved. There never is a way to cover all relationships with "one broad stroke". Certainly, there are pros and cons to each approach and choosing what works best for an individual(s) is optimum.

That being said, I can state that attitude is something that cannot be hidden. All that arises from deep within is bound to appear at the surface level. A slave, as all of us, has a tough time hiding her displeasure when put into a situation that she detests. While she might take the action that is instructed, her attitude will tell the true story.

As I mentioned in the last post, the problem with attitude is it often extends beyond the event that stimulates the response. We all experienced times where one thing upset us and we were still stewing about it hours later. How often has a single instance ruined your entire day? It is amazing how something that occurred 5 or 6 hours previous can still be affecting us. But it is the way many of us react.

My Experience

Whenever I push my slave to do something that she is against, our interaction ultimately suffers for an extended period of time. Resentment is a powerful vice. While I try to give her the freedom to express what is on her mind (in the proper manner), I will admit there are times when I simply do not want to hear what she has to say.

How do you think our day progresses? As you can guess, it does not go off very well. Whenever we get into this state, each person gets defensive thus creating a snowball effect. Ultimately, one of us will come to our senses and release whatever garbage is causing the rift.

***As a side note, I will mention that notice how I didn't state that I was the one who always comes to my senses. This is one of those times when reality is different from the online fantasy. There are instances when my slave is the more sensible one. Just because I am in the position of dominant, that does not mean that I am exempt from human characteristics. There are times when I am a total butthead. What can I say, perfection still eludes me.

The point is that attitude does seep through. On more than one occasion my slave mentioned that she would be better off just not saying anything. While she might be correct in the immediate term, I aptly point out to her that I know her well enough that I can read her emotions (not that it is difficult). She knows this is correct and understands that it only makes things more difficult. In the end, it is very difficult to hide one's attitude about certain things. As they say, the eyes do not lie.

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Anonymous said...

Hello Master Dennis,
We've been reading your blog regularly and we'd like to link it to our blog, if it's okay for you.
Hoping to hear from you soon,

Dennis Najee on June 12, 2010 at 6:40 AM said...

Absolutely you can link it. Also, be sure to post your blog link on my social BDSM site http://anownedlife.socialparody.com.


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