The Internet helped to bring the BDSM lifestyle from the dark ages out into the open. Like most alternative lifestyles, before the World Wide Web, we were relegated to existing as a fringe group where word was spread from person-to-person. Small groups gathered in areas which allowed for the meeting of local people. However, it was a slow process with information limited. Basically, your chances of meeting someone experienced was minimal.
At the same time, publications were limited since the potential market was unknown. While I always believed the majority of people had an interest in at least part of what we were involved in, publishers had no way of knowing how large this market is. For that reason, books and other literature was offered only by independents. Sadly, their reach was more regional thus limiting the exposure people had.
This all changed with the advent of the Internet. Now, you can log on and meet millions of lifestyle people with a few clicks. Because of the success of many websites, we see the market for this life is bigger than most thought. Indeed, the majority of people do like what we have to offer even if they are not full-blown "lifestylers". Nevertheless, there are aspects of this way of life that people take and apply to their own relationships. This led to an increasing of those who come in contact with this lifestyle.
With the increase in exposure came an uprising in the stupidity exhibited by those who we encounter. Sadly, most people who are floating around different chatrooms and websites are fakes in some way. This assertion is based upon years of floating around the Internet and interacting with thousands of different people. In the end, there are a few different types you will encounter which I will write about in another post. For the time being, just be confident in the fact that most are not real. If you can take only this point with you, you will be better off.
There are many different motivations for people getting involved with a particular website within the BDSM community. Typically, from my experience, it is to "get their rocks off". It is a fantasy to most people. They have images in their mind of controlling/being controlled by another person so they enter a chatroom to play these ideas out. Never do they have the intention of moving to another level. Instead, it is an interactive way to masturbate. Instead of popping in a porn video, they now have someone else joining in the play.
Along with this, you have a group of people who believe that all are open to rudeness and abuse. Since most of them have no intention of proceeding any further with an interaction, they simply do not care how they come off. They feel if someone is submissive, then he or she is weak and meant to be talked down to. Of course, those truly into BDSM know this is not the case. It takes strength to be submissive and those who choose this path are only fulfilling an inner desire.
In spite of all the drawbacks, there is tremendous individual benefit to the Internet within the BDSM community. On a personal level, one is able to interact with a variety of people from across the world which previously were off limits. As mentioned, when signing on, one can interact with thousands of people who were previously unavailable due to geographic placement. This opens the potential pool of people.
Education is another benefit of the web. While I will cede there is a great deal of misinformation, many blogs are written regularly detailing people's accounts within this lifestyle. These are first hand accounts that people share for the benefit of others. Whereas, in the past, one would need face-to-face contact to gain this insight, now it can be done by clicking on one's bookmarks.
Another advantage to the Internet is that one is able to find his or her particular kink. Every fetish imaginable has a room someone that is open to membership. This is how we often find the like minded people that we are searching for. Because we are drawing from a larger potential pool, the chances of finding someone who shares your outlook is greatened. Often, we are limited with our choices locally; that is no longer true with this medium.
Navigating Through To Success
Now that we struck upon some of the pros and cons of the Internet as it pertains to BDSM, how do we go about being successful. Here I am going to spell out a few ideas that I found helpful.
To begin, it is crucial to understand that this is a game of numbers. We acknowledge there are many different motives for entering into an online discussion. It is imperative that we remember not everyone is there for the same reason. Many are just seeking to pass the time with erotic chat. If you know this going in, you will not be disappointed when you encounter someone of this ilk.
The Internet does work and successful relationships are built on a daily basis. My present slave moved to me from the United Kingdom. She is a person who I never would have located in a million years using the traditional methods of munches. So, when you are encountering the pretenders, hold faith that it is possible to enjoy success.
That being said, here is my multi-million dollar formula for online BDSM success. Since you are a regular reader of my blog, I am going to share it with you for free. This one idea will radically change your life. Are you ready for it?
Ultimate Online Success
The key to online success that works in each and every situation is this: GET INVOLVED! Ponder that for a moment before reading on.
Why do I mention something so simple as a methodology for online BDSM success? Because so few people do it. In fact, they do the exact opposite. This opens the window for anyone who is seeking to find someone real.
Do you know what I commonly encounter in my travels around the web? Typically, I will run into a post like this "seeking real time slave (Master) for TPE. No fakes. Hit me up". Ironically, these same people will also post a couple weeks later how that site is filled with nothing but fakes. Well, duh. Of course they will not attract anyone who is serious. They offered nothing for a person to grasp onto. Should one simply jump at the offer that this person is now available? Well, judging by the results, evidently not.
The bottom line is that people need to get to know you. Simply stating that you are experienced and seeking something out proves nothing. To overcome this challenge, one simply needs to start posting in forums and chatrooms. Start to express some of the knowledge that you have. This starts to instill confidence in the people who are following you. Also, avoid the instant "sex talk". Any fool can do this. Begin to inquire about what the other person is offering you in return. Relationships are a two way street. The way to success if to start developing a relationship with each person you encounter. This will quickly eliminate the fakes.
***My online BDSM community located at http://anownedlife.socialparody.com/ is a great place to start this process. Come join us here.
Try this for a couple of weeks and let me know how it works out for you.
Click here for your version of An Owned Life.Click here Be sure to check out our new FREE social networking site An Owned Life Community.
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