March 6, 2015

I Am Not A Doormat

Today, I am going to write about a topic that absolutely drives me nuts.  As I make my way around the virtual BDSM world, I look at a ton of profiles.  Over time, it is easy to pick up on the general things that people encounter.  This particular subject is so common that it has to be mentioned.

We all know that the idiots and misfits of society views subs, and slaves in particular, as people who are less than they are.  This leads to the tendency to look down upon one which is followed by actions reflecting that viewpoint.  Naturally, this creates a scenario that leads to slaves posting things on their profile.

Whenever I see someone write "I am not a doormat" or "I am not weak", it tells me that one of two things is going on.  Either we are dealing with an individual who has no idea what slavery is all about or it is someone who dealt with the multitude of dumbasses that seem to be drawn to this way of life.  Regardless of what the cause is, it is based upon a false premise.

I am going to emphatically state here that slaves are NOT weak people.  At the same time, they are NOT doormats.   In fact, I could make an argument that slaves are the strongest people within our way of life.  Few ever take the time to consider the inner strength and trust that is required to cede all power over to another.  Volunteering to live in a TPE situation is something that requires one to dig deep before entering.  To believe that anyone can do it is a mistake.  Only a certain few can pull it off successfully.

That being said, I must state that I use the term "slave" to denote someone who is in or seeking to live in a TPE situation.  This is an individual who does not want any control or power other than what is ceded to her by the master.  Now, some operate under this premise while calling themselves subs.  That is fine.  Whatever the terminology that is used, the basic idea holds.

I think it would be worthwhile to consider what a slave goes through in making the decision to give herself to someone.  As mentioned, we are dealing with TPE so the slave has no say over her life except what is granted by her master.  This means things such as where she lives, if she works or not, what clothes she can wear, and who she can interact with.  Depending upon the master, she might be required to learn extensive protocol.  Even without this, there will be house rules which she is going to certainly have to adhere to.  The interaction with her family might be controlled or determined for her.  In short, every aspect of her life is out of her hands.

For many this is a dream state.  This is the ideal they seek.  However, do not underestimate the risks.  We all know this way of life is wrought with abusers.  A slave, just by her nature, is in a position where one can take excessive liberties with her, to the point of causing harm.  This is something that we all need to continue to fight against.  Nevertheless, it does happen so we are remiss if we do not mention it.

A slave has a mind that needs to be developed.  The master is in control but that does not mean he has all the answers.  Drawing upon the business world, if the master is the CEO, he has the final say.  Yet that does not mean he is the only one with some knowledge.  A slave is a valuable resource and often will have good ideas.  A master is best served by hearing her voice and considering it before making a decision.  It is this process that enables him to make more informed decisions and create more harmony within his home.

It seems that many miss the basic premise of BDSM which is growth.  Time and again we see that people are basically looking at slaves as idiots.  Of course, this is done by those I call morons so that ought to say something.  Nevertheless, most are fearful of an intelligent, strong individual.  This is not what they seek.  They intentionally focus upon those who appear dim-witted.  The reason for this is because they truly are insecure about their domination.  It is no challenge to control and dominate someone who is weak.  However, it takes great strength to be able to handle someone who is strong and intelligent.  This is just too much for the masses.  Instead, they opt to treat all at the level they can handle which is pretty low.

In closing, remember this idea.  If a slave truly is property, it is your place to make her as valuable as possible.  Utilize the resources within her and do not treat her like she is a doormat.  Simply because one opts for a position of servitude, that does not equate to weakness.  As I mentioned, I believe that is actually a sign of great strength.


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Anonymous said...

Well said.

Sue Highsmith on March 6, 2015 at 5:54 PM said...
This comment has been removed by the author.

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