Power Exchange
Before I get into the thrust of this article, I am going to tangent to an idea that is equally as stupid as the one I am going to write about. Too often I see submissive people (usually women) who write something to the effect "I am not submissive to everyone". The fact that this needs mentioning shows the sad state of affairs that we are dealing with. We entered into another reality with the advent of the online crowd. For some reason these people behave in ways that is contrary to what BDSM fundamentally stands for.
The fact is that a sub (slave) is only submissive to the one she (he) submitted to. That is why there is a process that is undertaken before the exchange of power takes place. Simply because someone has the quality of submissiveness, that does not mean she (he) is subservient to every non-submissive out there. That is like saying that a married woman is married to every guy. Insane. Do you think that one has to write "I am married but not to everyone"? Of course not. Nevertheless, once again, we see the inane ideas of the BDSM world.
Turning attention back to the main idea, too many believe that a slave becomes powerless once submitting to another. This is a myth that seems to take place online. Personally, I believe it keeps gaining speed because the dominants lack the skills to handle someone who exhibits power, i.e. is not a total bathmat and the submissives want to absolve themselves of all responsibility. Being a slave and entering in a BDSM relationship does not mean that a slave ceases to have any power. Instead, it uncovers the fact that she (he) is empowered to the degree as determined by the dominant. Here again, we see this fact to be true since many slaves are obligated with responsibility. In a healthy situation, it is impossible to have responsibility without being empowered (and vice versa).
Therefore, the exchange of power is total insofar as the dominant determines who has it at any given moment. And, ultimately, it is all at his (her) discretion.
Outside The Home
Here is the primary area where I see so much confusion. So many believe that they cannot be slaves because they operate in positions of power in the business world. My answer to that is "why would you think that"? Again, I know the answer because of what I just wrote. The vast majority, at least online, operate from the basis a slave has no power...ever. As was shown, this is not true.
It is not uncommon for one to work outside the home even when owned. Obviously, in a M/s situation, the decision of whether to maintain employment or not is up to the dominant. However, once that decision is made, he (she) understands the parameters of that decision. Whenever one is working outside the home, there arises the situation where one has a boss. This is true for the employee in the form of a manager and even the business owner (these bosses are called clients/customers). Hence, everyone has someone to answer to who are dictating behavior.
Many see a conflict when a slave is in a position of having to answer to someone else. There is no conflict. Anyone who makes the decision to send one out into the workplace understands that during the hours engaged in that activity, the slave answers to another person. This is an example of where the online fairy tales do not relate to the real world. Anyone who believes that a slave answers to him (her) in that situation will find himself without the extra paycheck. Most employers are a bit picky about their employees answering to someone else during business hours.
Another concept that many have trouble with is the notion of a slave being in a position of power. I presume this is something that is not comprehended when understanding the inane ideas people buy into. However, there is no reason why a slave cannot be in a management position outside the house. Simply because she (he) has people answering to her (him), that does not mean that submissiveness is not a part of that person's makeup. The difference is that the slave has the ability to assume the role required to succeed in the business world. Management is a discipline like any other that is learned; it does not reflect the inner qualities nor threaten how she (he) structures a relationship. At the same time, it also doesnt negate the submission to the one who owns her (him).
Hopefully, this clarifies things considerably.
DN
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