One Size Does Not Fit All
BDSM is a wide and varied lifestyle. We have many who operate at the moderate end of the spectrum while others prefer to live more extreme. Contained within are also numberous fetishes, some of which are far removed from mainstream. Basically, no matter what someone's preference, there will be someone else who likes that identical thing. Unlike the traditional (or vanilla) world where one is an outcast and often a loner in his/her desires, in BDSM, that person will find people to share the experiences with. It is only a matter of putting in the time and dedication to uncover those people.
Often people come to me and ask me how to go about getting involved in BDSM. I have to laugh because that is like asking how to get married. Certainly, there is a common method or approach, but that does not mean it will work in every instance. Just consider the ways that people go about and meet their boyfriend/girlfriend. There is online dating. Chance meetings in the supermarket. Friends set people up all the time. Work is a place that many people happen upon a date. The point is there is not one particular method that is utilized.
At the same time, marriages are varied. Again, most opt for a "normal" structure but there are those who stray from what is common. There are those who prefer open marriages. In some societies, more than one marriage is acceptable. Some marriages lead to procreation and the raising of children while others do not. Many have intense sexual relations whereas some fit into the "Dead fish" category.
BDSM is the same way. There is no "one size fits all" method. As mentioned, it is a varied lifestyle, therefore, it is made up of people who are also just as complex. People like different things and BDSM offers whatever is chosen up. So, if you want to be treated and live as a dog, that is possible. At the same time, so is living as a furry, in tpe, utilizing some light bondage to enhance your sex life, or in a world of latex. It is up to each individual to determine where his or her desired exist and follow that path.
It is sad to say that many, if not most, in the BDSM world are just as intolerant as those people in the traditional realm. We see just as much judging and degrading (not the erotic kind either) as anywhere else. While I will admit that people can have wrong ideas in the areas of terminology and some of the concepts, when it comes to desires, that is a personal choice. And just because it is not to one person's liking, that does not mean that someone else should not pursue it. BDSM gives on the freedom to live as he or she sees fit. The people involved in the lifestyle ought to have the same outlook.
A prime example that comes to mind are those people who seek out BDSM only as a means of enhancing their sex lives. Many who are of this ilk are enticed by the idea of some bondage and, perhaps, light spanking. To them, BDSM is nothing more than a sex aid. Of course, this gets many who are "true lifestyle people" up in arms. They take the approach that these are somehow degrading the lifestyle by not taking it seriously. This is a prime example of the intolerance that exists.
We see this in many facets of this world. Slaves are intolerant of the behavior of slave and vice versa. Domestic slaves are looked down upon simply because they do not provide full service. We can say the same thing about those who want to be sex slaves (although if they really thought about what a true sex slave is around the world, it is something they would not opt for). As I said, certain fetishes and, thus, those interested are put down because they are weird or gross. Whatever someone's desire is, there is someone else ready to degrade that choice or approach.
Personally, I do not really care what people are into. It is their lives. I see a lot with all kinds of misinformation about BDSM and do my best to convey the proper ideas. However, there are many aspects of this lifestyle that I do not care for nor participate in. That being said, I try not to attack people for their choices. One reason is because I found throughout the years that my interests do change. Just because I am not into something today does not mean that next year it will not hold my attention. I witnessed this with many new people who immediately shut off an idea such as pain only to end up as a total pain lovers. Of course, there are many things which I find gross and opt not to be a part of. Nevertheless, those that like that sort of thing are entitled to their fetish.
Therefore, no matter what you desire, go for it. As long as it is safe and consensual, if it fills a need within you, then partake in that activity. It is up to you to determine how you want to live your life. Other people will always have their opinions yet that is true no matter where you go. And, if you are one in the BDSM community, try to be more accepting of other people's BDSM choices. Remember, not everyone is going to live the life like you do. We are each individuals.
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