This is a statement that all of us heard repeatedly. Sadly, it was usually from an elderly relative like a grandparent yearning for days of yore. Every generation encounters this as the fabric of society seemingly tears apart before our eyes. This is true when people mix in their own moral interpretation of how things should be. I recall reading a story about how Sinatra was once looked upon as the one who was going to bring down society. Then, a couple decades later, Elvis and his swinging hips was the cause. Of course, how could orgies not break out across the land with an entertainer swinging his hips like that. Then we got the Beatles/Rolling Stones who sang that "Rock n Roll". And so on down the line. What is amazing is society is still here albeit on life support.
BDSM also witnessed a change throughout the years. Over time, the meaning of what certain things meant were altered to fit the times. I will say that this is not a post proclaiming the desire for the "good ole days". Instead, I want to point out how some things changed especially how it pertains to the M/s relationship.
Outside Realities
One thing many people seem to overlook is the fact that they live in the real world. No matter how much we want to deny that this is the case, our choice of lifestyle is a personal one. Nevertheless, we are still mandated to live within the confines of society. Those who stray too far from this quickly realize that society has mechanisms in place to deal with people who overtly behave in contradictory ways. Usually this involves a set of handcuffs and a cage but not in the way us kinksters like.
At the same time, we operate under the same conditions as everyone else. Nothing frustrates me more than to see new people enter this lifestyle and watch them act as if they are exempt from the realities I am discussing. They get upset when they have to deal with financial, health, and family issues. For some reason, they believe that simply because they chose an alternative path, they should forgo all the realities of life that everyone else has. Sadly, this is not the case. The truth is we all have rent or a mortgage payment to make. Each of us has people to answer to at work. The problem with families is we do not get to choose them hence have to deal with what we have. Get over it. Welcome to the real world.
It is the outside realities, or more specifically the change in them, that has affected the Master/slave realm.
24/7
The ultimate (in terms of extremeness) of the dominant/submissive relationship is M/s. Actually, more specifically, it is 24/7 M/s. Under this structure, a person is owned completely by the Master. All decisions are made by the dominant with the submissive dutifully obeying. Of course, with power comes great responsibly. Thus the Master is obliged to act in the best interest of the slave by maintaining safety, discipline, and sound decision making. It is a consensual relationship whereby all power is given over to the dominant party.
Like everything else in the world, this too noticed a change over the years. Before going into what happened, I would like to delve into what was commonly witnessed years ago. There is a segment of the BDSM lifestyle which is called "1950s Household". Under this scenario, a couple will structure their relationship to mimic what life was like in the 1950s. More to the point, people emulate the power structure of that time when the male had the power while the woman was demur and obedient. At the same time, he was the provider while she took care of the household and kids. Outside work was not part of her obligation hence putting at mercy of her husband financially. In essence, all control was with him.
This is where the outside changes affect the BDSM world. The main problem with the 1950s Household is that it is nor feasible in most instances. Our economic world changed to the point where most people need both incomes to make ends meet. It is only a small percentage who are able to establish the structure I just mentioned. For this reason, both parties tend to work meaning they have someone else to answer to. Of course, this creates a bit of a dilemma for a slave since she is, by definition, property and answers to her Master.
So how do we deal with this situation? As you can see, full-time 24/7 service is not possible. If one has to work outside the house, she is not available to serve her Master. A portion of her day is tending to the obligations of another entity other than him. In return, one receives a paycheck which, in true M/s, is turned over to the Master. Because of this he does benefit from her service to him which is the core essence of a M/s relationship. However, she is not available to him 24/7 since her working hours are dictated by someone outside the home.
Does this mean that M/s is diluted? Not at all. It is just one of the many realities that we deal with in life. As things change, we adapt. M/s is still based upon the foundation of total power exchange. A slave exists solely for the benefit and pleasure of her Master. Everything she does is in fulfillment of this overriding responsibility. The essence of a slave did not change, just the circumstances we live in.
Keep in mind, that it is the Master's "choice" whether she works or not. I put the word choice in quotes because, realistically, there usually is not a choice since financial conditions dictate this course of action. Nevertheless, a slave can take solace knowing that she is working for his benefit and a Master can enjoy the fact that she is out there for him. While we see restrictions upon what used to be, it does not mean that we are not forging ahead in a manner which meets our requirements. M/s is still alive even if, in most instances, full time service is not available.
Remember, as the world changes, we adapt to be able to exist within it. BDSM is a lifestyle choice that is not going anywhere.
DN
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1 comments:
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