December 17, 2008


This is something that I truly value in my life. It is one of my highest ideals. Part of my plan for the next year is to restructure aspects of my life to experience more of this. I guess there is something within me which does not like to conform to what society says is proper. Perhaps I have a quiet rebellious streak that I need to satisfy.

Society has a way of conditioning us to behave in certain ways. We are taught that marriage is the proper course to follow when you grow up. (I will leave the question whether it is between a man and a woman or other scenarios to others). Our culture teaches the traditional model which most people adhere to. Being one who followed their suggestions for a while, I can attest that this did not work for me. The concept of a vanilla lifestyle did not go well. In fact, I failed miserably at it.

For those who know of me, you are aware that I never married. However, I did replicate that idea by living with someone in a long term situation. We got so involved that the breakup required attorneys on both sides. Needless to say, this did not endear that ideal to me.

BDSM is something that I was in and out of for years. My first experience with it was over a decade ago. Being uncertain what I wanted for myself, I stayed in it until I met the "one". Of course, as soon as the "one" turned out not to be that, I drifted back into this way of life. That transpired for a number of years until the blowup that I just mentioned. At that time, I made the commitment that this is how I live my life.

What I love about the BDSM lifestyle is the freedom that goes along with it. Anyone can choose how they want to live. There are so many facets, styles, and cultures within BDSM, that one literally could go in a hundred different directions. Are you interested in the leather scene? Do you like the idea of M/s? Would you want to live as 24/7 or do you prefer the occasional scene? How extreme do you wish to go? Is this something that you want to implement just during sex or would you like more? The avenues one can pursue are endless.

To me, BDSM is all about freedom. I am not bound by the viewpoints of society. Their cultural ideals in terms of relationships mean nothing to me. I found the arena which I am most happy. This is the lifestyle that suits me. It is a way of life which fulfills my highest value in life. Now, if I could only get the rest of my life to follow suit.



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