January 19, 2016

Seeking A Sister Slave

I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have seen a profile on the BDSM social stating something similar to this:

"Master has me here looking for a sister slave to add to his household."

Every time I see that, I simply want to laugh.  What the hell is going on in this world where a Master thinks it is proper to have a slave seek out another slave for him?  I mean seriously, what is the mindset of these people?

Here is a question for all you subs/slaves: who did you submit to?  Who was it that earned your trust and got you to agree to be his?  I am going to presume that it was him.  It was through your contact and interaction with him that you came to understand what submitting to him would be like.  The personal attention he gave you made you feel comfortable with him while allowing you to determine if your views/desires/wishes matched up.  This did not come through or via another person.

Once again, if we reach back the traditional world, do we see this in practice there?  Obviously, the poly/multi-person aspect of things is not as common as it is in BDSM.  Nevertheless, we can see some lessons if we learn them.  What happens if an individual is single and having a tough time meeting people?  Usually, if the online sources are not leading to success, friends or family will set him or her up with another they know is single.  Of course, these people only provide an introduction.  After that, it is up to the individuals to interact between themselves to determine if they click or not.  The original parties are far removed from the equation.

Now, some will want to claim that is exactly what they, or their Masters, are doing.  The mantra comes back with the idea that "I am only looking on Master's behalf and when I find a possibility, he will take over".  Sorry not buying it.  To start, how lazy can one be.  If a Master is interested in a poly or multi-slave household, it is up to him to find the individuals who will be brought under his roof.  Of course, some might want to say "that Master is too busy so I am saving him time".  If this is the case, that Master it too busy to look for a slave, then I can assure you, he is too busy to have another one.  The simple fact is that prospecting for a slave is a lot less time consuming than training, interacting, and maintaining a true live in slave.  Running a house requires a great deal of time and commitment.  One who is too lazy or busy to look on his own simply is not qualified to have a multi-slave household.  It really is that simple.

Another aspect of this entire mess is that the submissive who is being targeted should question what is taking place.  I chatted with many over the years who were on the receiving end of messages from subs/slaves.  I would say the vast percentage of them were put off by the fact they were being contacted by a submissive on behalf of a dominant.  The reply to me was along the lines of what I just wrote: why isn't he contacting me himself?  I never asked how they took the reply "well he is too busy".

One point I want to add.  The scenario I am portraying here is different from a sub/slave being aware that her Dom/Master seeks another and mentioning it if she comes across one who is seeking the same thing.  Many submissive types interact either online or at munches.  In this instance, I would say that he referring the other submissive to her owner is a viable move.  This, obviously, is a far cry from him sending her out to find him another.

Also, my point of emphasis with this post is relegated to those seeking another to join a house.  If one is simply seeking play, well that is a different scenario.  We all know play carries with it a different level of interaction and connection, hence requiring less in terms of the established level between the parties involved.  Again, I hope the difference is clear.

One final objection that is often given is the idea that the subs/slaves need to get along, hence having the submissive search for her sister is wise.  Once again, this is incorrect.  Is the submissive responsible for house or is the dominant?  Part of his obligation when seeking out another is to determine how he or she will fit in the established situation.  Yes, there is a time when the submissives need to deal with each other.  However, it ultimately is up to the dominant to establish what is proper for the house and how the interaction will take place. Deferring this responsibility to the sub/slave simply does not cut it.

Being dominant is about taking control and being responsible for what comes along with that control.  Too often one wants to be given control while absolving himself of the responsibility.  It does not work that way.  If you are going to have the power, you best know how to use it.  Failure to do so makes you domineering, not dominant.  This is just another example of how to achieve that misguided end.


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