Professional versus Amateur

Where do you qualify on this scale. To start, when I refer to a professional, I am not referring to someone who makes their living as a Dom/Domme. While there are people who choose to do this, they are in the extreme minority. What I mean by professional is someone who takes this way of life seriously. They approach their "craft" like they any other professional.

There are many who approach BDSM with the idea of being "tire kickers". It is wonderful for people to take a look at our way of life to decide if it is for them. These are not the people that I question. Rather, I am taken aback by those who profess to live this way yet are amateurish in their approach. They failed to move to the next stage in their development.

A professional is someone who takes their trade seriously. They are people who are willing to put in the time learning all they can about what they do. Certain trades have apprentice programs where one learns the basics before being certified. Continuing education is important (and often required). One is committed to staying on top of the latest developments within his or her profession.

Contrast that with many who claim to be involved in BDSM. There are many I encounter who state they are slaves while behaving more like a Dom. They want to retain control over their lives which shows they missed the basics of being a sub/slave. At the same time, there are so many dominant personalities who believe they are Doms/Masters. Of course, without the basics in control, accessories, and furniture, One will end up failing.

The Internet is a wonderful tool which allows for people to garner knowledge rapidly. We now have access to millions (billions or trillions) of pages worth of information. If one is interested in learning about something, there are plenty of places to turn. While being questionable in the validity of the information, at least it is a starting point.

Nevertheless, many fail to take this vital step. That is why I wrote the book, An Owned Life, as a way to offer some of the basics of the M/s world. Judging by the sales results, there obviously was a huge market that was crying for this. It is my goal to assist people in their effort to move from amateur to professional.

If you are going to be involved in an alternative lifestyle, I feel that it is only fair that you have some idea if what it is all about. Every walk of life has some basics and this lifestyle is no different. Learning the basics of BDSM is a great step towards becoming knowledgeable about they way we live. Start by acquiring all the know-how that you can.

An Owned Life is a great place to start.

Click here for your version of An Owned Life.

The Best Household BDSM Implement

Many go out and spend hundreds of dollars on BDSM toys and accessories. While this is all well and good, it is a step that needn't be taken, especially in the beginning. It is best to enter into this alternative lifestyle in a manner which reflects your level of learning. Spending a boatload of money on furniture, whips, and chains when you know not how to use them is pointless.

The way I tell most couples to implement BDSM in their relationship is through the technique of spanking. This simple technique allows for one to experience the sensation of the lifestyle without going too deep. I find it best to go slower rather than fast. Spanking can also be coupled with a variety of role playing to enhance the scene.

After one get accustomed to this, I usually suggest adding to thes situation by getting a simple household spatula. This can be one of the plastic ones that is available at the local discount store. A plastic spatula will increase the amount of "sting" when the ass or upper back is struck. Some also like to have their tits beaten with this, an entry into titty torture.

Using a spatula is the most cost effective way to move to the next level in your BDSM play. The best part is that every kitchen has one. You can vary the degree of pain by strike the same area repeatedly in quick intervals. As mentioned, there is the flexibility of striking different areas. Finally, I have concentrated on a specific area long enough to draw blood. The constant striking will thin out the skin until there is nothing left.

Remember this tool the next time you want to add a bit more to your scene.

An Easy Entry Into BDSM

Many try to over complicate things when looking at the BDSM way of life. While it is a lifestyle for many, for others it is a way to spice up the ole sex life. When first experimenting with BDSM, it is best to start with some basic things.

A trip to the local sex shop will quickly reveal that one can spend lots of money on BDSM accessories and toys. To say that these devices are not cheap is an understatement. You could literally spend thousands of dollars outfitting yourself with all that you need; a number that doesn't take furniture into consideration. Add that to the equation and the total will surpass $10,000.

Before you take out a personal loan to finance your kinky activities, it is best to start with the basics. This will allow for you to learn different techniques while saving money. One of the most basic accessories you can use is the ordinary wooden clothespin. This is something that you can buy for pennies yet is extremely versatile.

Read anything about BDSM techniques and you will find that clamps are a common part of the lifestyle. Many scenes will involve this in some form. Clamps are used for nipples, clits, and cocks. They can also be put on any part of the body where the Dom/Master wants to apply a bit of pain. Many find the pinching adds to the sensation of being dominated.

Again, before running out to the local sex shop and purchasing different kinds clamps with chains, consider playing with the clothespins that are laying in your laundry room. These items will give the same benefit as a clamp for a few cents. If you are feeling really feisty, put a number of them on the breast at the same time.

Another wonderful technique that is done with clothespins is something called the Zipper. This is a system where a number of clothespins are tied together and placed on the body. The removal is similar to a zipper being opened. For a full description of how to use this technique, click here.

As you can see, your entry into BDSM need not be expensive nor extravagant. Often, a trip to the local hardware store offers some of the best ideas.

Figging

Figging is a type of BDSM play that does not seem to get much publicity. It is something that I heard dates back to ancient times. As a sexual practice it can be exciting and increase the pleasure for both Dom and sub.

This technique involves the ginger root for anal play. Ginger, in it's pure form, has a bit of a burn to it. As an anal toy, this is stimulating for many. It heightens the senses while walking the pain/pleasure line.

Here is how this play goes.

1. Tie the sub up on your favorite position so that the ass is accessible to you.
2. Insert the ginger root "finger" into the ass until it reaches the ring.
3. Watch the reaction you get as the "burn" increases (you might want to play with him or her while this is happening).

It is a simple technique that provides a great deal of pleasure. The trick in this is the preparation. Your success is determined by how well you do with this.

Here is how you prepare the ginger for figging.

1. Start with a full hand of ginger. Most stores sell ginger pre-cut into fingers. Only buy full hands of ginger-an oriental grocery store might be the best bet.
2. Cut the finger off down near the hand. Make sure the finger is at least 3.5-4 inches.
3. Remove the skin of the ginger and make the finger smooth with a potato peeler or knife.
4. Cut a ring about 3/4 of the way down for the anus to grip onto. (1/2 inch wide should be perfect.
5. Wash ginger in cold water to lubricate.

A few words of caution. The juices from the ginger will burn if it gets in contact with the eyes. After preparing the ginger root, wash your hands thoroughly to avoid touching your or the sub's eyes during play. Also, be sure to use a "finger" that is thick enough in diameter so as not to snap while in the ass. Finally, avoid any lubricants during this play since they will tend to seal the ginger. Use water and insert slowly until the anus accepts it.

Figging is an ancient practice is ideal for enjoyment and can be used as punishment. The "burn" will vary for each individual. Some reported it similar to the sensation of using a muscle cream. Others said it is like the feeling of eating a hot pepper. I found that those who enjoy pain really love this technique. Experiment with it and see what you find.