Isolation

This is a tactic that is universal across the online spectrum and used as a means to control a sub/slave by one who is otherwise unable to do so.

Isolating a sub/slave is a tactic the pretenders use consistently in an effort to keep their lies and misinformation alive. The truth is these people prey upon newcomers in an effort to get what they want. At a minimum they are annoying...at a maximum they are dangerous. Do not allow yourself to be placed in a situation like this.

Fear of Someone Taking Her

Often the reason for this tactic (cited) is because there are so many trollers who will hit upon her that I need to protect her from them (yeah and who is protecting her from you). Of course, what our virtuous doesnt realize is that she somehow managed to navigate things before he came into the picture. The truth is that a person of this ilk is actually insecure and afraid someone real will steal her away. This is the pretenders worst nightmare.

Lies are an interesting concept to analyze. As we weave them, they get deeper and more complex. Remembering them is difficult. Thus, the best way to maintain the deception is to isolate one from any source of knowledge. Mankind has done this for centuries. Ever noticed how the illiterate are ones who tend to be further behind everyone else ? Reading was/is a method that allows one to prevent another from seeking knowledge. Isolation is another method.

The truth is that no real dom is concerned about a sub being taken. If one's relationship is real, there is no reason to go to this length. I have a live in slave who is allowed to speak with whomever she chooses in open forums. Does this bother me or make me think that she will suddenly be swept away by someone else? Of course not. Nobody is going to succeed in that area as long as I maintain my domination and control in the proper manner. This is what a dominant does.

Our fearful, albeit virtuous dom doesnt have this confidence. The reason is because he knows deep down he is a farce. In other words, he has nothing real to offer. Over the years I saw so many of these dimwits it makes my head spin. Yet they all do the same thing. Isolation is a practice that is not done for the protection of the sub/slave but, rather, for the lies and deception of the pretender.

Danger

Anyone who agrees to this is a complete fool. People who think like this are dangerous. The BDSM world is wrought with peril simply because of the lifestyle we lead. Many of the activities that we are involved in require specialized knowledge. There are many things which need to be done only with expert supervision. A new person trying these things out is downright horrific. Tragedy can strike at any time.

The online world is wrought with scams, lies, and deception. It is the nature of this medium since anonymity is so easy to maintain. I cannot tell you how many people I interacted with who mentioned the idea of moving themselves (and kids) to a Master they knew nothing about. When questioned, the response is often 'Master doesnt take questions from slaves'. Hello. Get the hell out then. How can any sane person expect to formulate a relationship in such a manner?

Knowledge is key. People come to this lifestyle knowing very little about it. There are many preconceived ideas most of which are wrong. Then, our sweet little subbie compounds the issue by getting involved with someone in under 2 weeks. Hence we have a naive mind able to be coaxed by the pretenders. There are a number of sites which are full of kiddie doms and comic book masters. They pounce on every new person as soon as the profile goes up.

When dealing with these fools, the best thing that can happen is for some emotional trauma to take place. Many get suckered into believing what they have is 'real' when it is nothing more than misleading lies. Ultimately, in many instances, since these people were playing online games, the person is crushed to realize he or she was taken. However, if that is the extent of the damage, then all is well. Sadly, this isnt always the case.

Meeting one of these people in person ups the stakes considerably. This is where the real danger comes in. Unfortunately, since our person is new and extremely naive (in addition to being woefully in love), she wasnt aware of the proper means to protect herself. Hence she is at the mercy of someone who might not have her best interest at heart.

Without going any further down that path, I will state the best way to protect yourself is to avoid this situation totally. If you are talking to someone and he tells you that you are not to talk to other Doms/Masters, tell him to screw off. I mean it. Run for the hills. Get out of Dodge. Move on Batman. Forget all the feelings you have and the 'need' to serve him. This is a person who is not worthy nor capable of taking your submission. I can promise you, the odds are not in your favor. Pretender tactic 101 is a sure sign that this is a person to avoid. In the long run, you will save yourself a lot of heartache and perhaps a lot more. DO NOT TAKE THESE WORDS LIGHTLY.

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Using Common Sense

It is sad to see how much different people approach this lifestyle as compared to other areas of their life. Seemingly intelligent people make choices which they would not under normal circumstances. For whatever reason, they believe there is something vastly different when entering the BDSM world.

The bottom line is that all relationships are just that, relationships. Interpersonal skills that are applicable to other areas of life are valid here also. Even though the dynamics are on another level, this is where common sense comes into play. We are still dealing with people regardless of the power structure.

I see so many "fall" for someone only to be devastated when things do not work out. This is really true online. Yesterday I wrote a post about the misleading that can occur online. I am always stunned how people take what they see to be real. The truth is it often is not.

Anyone can be a "Master" or a "slave" online. All that is needed is the ability to write it in a chatroom. A little reading will provide O/one with the foundation to offer some credible evidence. Of course, the entire process is easier when the person being dealt with is new. He or she is open to be taken advantage of. This person will believe most anything since the entire life is new.

This is where common sense comes into play. I typically ask people if this something they would tolerate in the vanilla world. For example, I often hear how a Master cannot provide an address or phone number to a slave. The claim is that it is His place to contact her. At this point I say the odds are she is chatting with a fake. He is hiding something. Would you believe this line if it were your fiance in a traditional relationship? How many people have no idea where their fiance lives or his/her phone number? Yet we see slaves who are willing to move to Him in spite of this. Naturally, when the time never comes to move, there is devastation.

My next question is what was really lost? I am told that "my Master is now gone". Wrong. You lost a name on a screen. The Internet allows for the creation of whatever the mind can conceive. If you want to be a Master, bingo. You are now a Master. If you want to be an engineer at Nasa, simply learn a few scientific lines and fill out a profile saying Kennedy Space Center. Just because one says it does not make it so.

Common sense will go a long way to avoiding headache, heartache, and assache. This is especially true if you have kids that are involved. Your decisions will also affect them. You want to be sure the choices made are based in reality, not fantasy. Too often there are jerks who are living out their fantasies online while the spouse is upstairs sleeping. If there are warning signs that something is amiss, it usually is. Many who claim to be single are really married. It is too easy to lie.

Remember this the next time you are in a chatroom and striking up a "relationship" with another. Be sure to push to move it to some type of human interaction. A phone call, a lunch, or an address go a long way to validating that person.

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There are plenty of fakes

This is a topic which pains me to write but it is something that needs to be said. I consider this sort of a "public service announcement" for those who are new to this way of life. Hopefully, these words will save one from enduring some unnecessary pain.

People who approach this lifestyle often do with fascination and excitement. We all remember the wonder we had when we first learned that this world existed. That being said, these same people are also somewhat impressionable at that time. This is where people who are looking to play games usually can be found. The "pretenders" prey upon those who know little. They cower when confronted by someone who knows what this way of life is all about.

Remember these words: there are plenty of fakes. This is especially true for those who like to meet people online. The Internet offers a wonderful means by which one can create any persona he or she wants. Past experience matters little since there are few opportunities to show proof. The games that are played range from the absurd to the outright dangerous.

If you read my other posts, you know that I believe this lifestyle is not about sex although that is part of it. At the same time, it is not about control although that is a large aspect also. It is about two people fulfilling internal needs based upon their basic core makeup. A Master/Dom is that way because of something within him (or her). At the same time, a sub/slave is submissive because of that same core makeup. Finally, we are not here to abuse or be abused.

Pretenders know none of this. Instead, they are constantly looking for those with whom they can score. The idea of dominating is have one do whatever he wants. Basically, they are looking for a slut who will never say "no". They never approach the deeper levels of domination or submission since they dont realize they exist.

At the other end, there are those who claim to be subs/slaves yet are actually after something different. The idea of submitting is appealing although I tend to believe those who are pretending do so because of a lack of attention in other areas of life. This is how one gains her esteem. It is not the lifestyle that is appealing as much as the idea of someone taking interest in her (or him).

Of course, I am making sweeping generalizations here. The point is that those who are true to this lifestyle will emerge if you are patient. You might need to weed through lots of "bad apples" before you find One who is real. The same is true if you are seeking a sub. Many claim to be but few are. There are thousands of chatrooms filled with pretenders as we speak. They are all over the place.