Financial Domination

This is a subject that is certain to ruffle a few feathers. Well, to state more accurately, my writing about this subject will cause the upheaval. It is one that I am adamant about and will not withhold punches. This is one of those topics which leaves very little room for latitude. Many will accuse me of taking the 'it is my way or the highway approach'. That is fine. The truth is I witness the games played in this arena and see so many taken for a ride. Experience this a few times and you will, no doubt, reach the same end.

Financial Domination

"Property cannot own property"

I make this statement on a regular basis. To me, it is part of the fundamental core that is our lifestyle. Anyone who is opting for a TPE style relationship is entering into something that is pretty absolute. There are many who proclaim themselves to be able to live in this structure but I found that few truly can. It is not an easy path to choose.

That being said, anyone who wants to live as a 'slave' needs to fully comprehend what that means. When one is owned, he or she has nothing except for what is given by the Master/Mistress. At the same time, anything that person receives is also by right the property of the Master/Mistress. One is not able to own anything for him or herself. The term 'mine' (or my) is eliminated from this person's vocabulary.

In the end, one is dominated financially just like he or she is in every other aspect of life. My slave is my property thus I own all of her. All resources that she had in life became mine when she joined me on this journey. In my view, that is simply how things work in this aspect of the lifestyle.

Certainty

While many state they are slaves while lacking the makeup to actually live that way, I will state that it is minor as compared to those who claim to be dominant. There are so many who believe their domination is affirmed simply because they capitalize their name on a website. This is not domination nor does it qualify one to be dominant. True domination is the following of an internal desire that is coupled with knowledge and experience. It is garnered over time as one learns the internals workings of the mind. Domination is as much mental as it is anything else.

So, what does this all mean? Quite simply, if one (submissive) is expecting to live as a slave, he or she must be certain of the person one is interacting with. This seems like common sense but, remember, few really have any idea of the person they are chatting with. Most put up a good front. The reality of the online community is that the largest percentage of people are not involved in real time relationships. At best, they are engaged in online role playing; at worst, outright deception. This creates a precarious situation if one is seeking to be 'financially dominated'. Absolute certainty is crucial if you are going to take the next step.

Con Jobs

As you can guess, I feel that most are just putting con jobs on other people. At this point, I am going to pick on the 'Dommes' since they are the one who I think play the greatest con game. Also, I am going make some blanket statements about society that you may or may not agree with. However, there is still a biased that I can see which equates to some of this unenviable behavior.

What is a 'financial domme'? I see this advertised all over the place. What the hell is someone who is only willing to dominate in one area? To me the terms 'gold digger' is more accurate. Whenever I see this advert, I know that person is not real. This is one of the grandest con jobs in the BDSM community. And what is sad is that people enter into these relationships believing they will be dominated. The truth is that the Domme is only seeking to clean one out.

I feel for the male submissives. They have the hardest road in my opinion since there are basically the gold diggers and the Pro-Dommes for them to deal with. Few women are into the full fledged domination. That makes their path that much more difficult. We live in a male dominated society which holds the belief that men much be strong while women weak. Also, because of the career prospects, the earning power of a male exceeds that of a female in most instances. This leaves a male vulnerable to the games that are played in this regard.

How To Combat It All

This goes out to all, not just the male submissives. The best way to combat this is to truly know who you are dealing with. An online relationship is vastly different than real time. Anyone who experienced both knows the difference. The online world is suspect for the simple reason that anyone can create a persona online. You only have the words that are written on a screen to go by. Nothing else, in the online world, is verifiable. That is the primary reason why I continually state that anyone engaged online must implement the traditional methods of communication as soon as possible. These methods help to verify what was already stated.

Knowing the person you are dealing with not only entails verifying their address or state located. One must also be sure he or she is a dominant worthy of your submission. What I mean is that the person is capable of providing one with what he or she needs. A slave who only turns over his/her paycheck is living an unfulfilled life. Every slave that I met wants to be dominated completely. That is why a 'financial domme' is nothing more than a golddigger. This person is not providing anything to the slave. A relationship is a two-way street with each person giving and receiving. A person of this makeup is just taking.

To end this thought, I will state that trust takes time to build. Therefore, it is unrealistic to expect a person in a new relationship to cede all over to the Master/Mistress immediately. It is only after the dominant proves his/her abilities that one will feel comfortable in doing so. The trust factor allows a relationship to travel deeper and deeper. Handing over a paycheck of monies received from a job is one thing. To turn over the proceeds from the sale of a house is an entirely different matter. In these instances, I think one needs to use common sense and realize what is at stake. Until you are certain, and in person, that you are dealing with someone real, I would be hesitant in my approach. And, please avoid anyone simply proclaiming to be a 'financial domme'.


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The Online BDSM World

I am going to share my experience with the online world as it pertains to BDSM. This is a subject that is extremely important since I see so many who feel that this is the world we live in. It is not. Online is termed "virtual" for a reason. At the end of the day, you are interacting with nothing more than characters and fonts. You hope their is a true person on the other end; but you cannot be certain.

Increased Exposure

The Internet helped to bring the BDSM lifestyle from the dark ages out into the open. Like most alternative lifestyles, before the World Wide Web, we were relegated to existing as a fringe group where word was spread from person-to-person. Small groups gathered in areas which allowed for the meeting of local people. However, it was a slow process with information limited. Basically, your chances of meeting someone experienced was minimal.

At the same time, publications were limited since the potential market was unknown. While I always believed the majority of people had an interest in at least part of what we were involved in, publishers had no way of knowing how large this market is. For that reason, books and other literature was offered only by independents. Sadly, their reach was more regional thus limiting the exposure people had.

This all changed with the advent of the Internet. Now, you can log on and meet millions of lifestyle people with a few clicks. Because of the success of many websites, we see the market for this life is bigger than most thought. Indeed, the majority of people do like what we have to offer even if they are not full-blown "lifestylers". Nevertheless, there are aspects of this way of life that people take and apply to their own relationships. This led to an increasing of those who come in contact with this lifestyle.

Increased Stupidity

With the increase in exposure came an uprising in the stupidity exhibited by those who we encounter. Sadly, most people who are floating around different chatrooms and websites are fakes in some way. This assertion is based upon years of floating around the Internet and interacting with thousands of different people. In the end, there are a few different types you will encounter which I will write about in another post. For the time being, just be confident in the fact that most are not real. If you can take only this point with you, you will be better off.

There are many different motivations for people getting involved with a particular website within the BDSM community. Typically, from my experience, it is to "get their rocks off". It is a fantasy to most people. They have images in their mind of controlling/being controlled by another person so they enter a chatroom to play these ideas out. Never do they have the intention of moving to another level. Instead, it is an interactive way to masturbate. Instead of popping in a porn video, they now have someone else joining in the play.

Along with this, you have a group of people who believe that all are open to rudeness and abuse. Since most of them have no intention of proceeding any further with an interaction, they simply do not care how they come off. They feel if someone is submissive, then he or she is weak and meant to be talked down to. Of course, those truly into BDSM know this is not the case. It takes strength to be submissive and those who choose this path are only fulfilling an inner desire.

The Benefits

In spite of all the drawbacks, there is tremendous individual benefit to the Internet within the BDSM community. On a personal level, one is able to interact with a variety of people from across the world which previously were off limits. As mentioned, when signing on, one can interact with thousands of people who were previously unavailable due to geographic placement. This opens the potential pool of people.

Education is another benefit of the web.  While I will cede there is a great deal of misinformation, many blogs are written regularly detailing people's accounts within this lifestyle.  These are first hand accounts that people share for the benefit of others.  Whereas, in the past, one would need face-to-face contact to gain this insight, now it can be done by clicking on one's bookmarks.

Another advantage to the Internet is that one is able to find his or her particular kink.  Every fetish imaginable has a room someone that is open to membership.  This is how we often find the like minded people that we are searching for.  Because we are drawing from a larger potential pool, the chances of finding someone who shares your outlook is greatened.  Often, we are limited with our choices locally; that is no longer true with this medium.

Navigating Through To Success

Now that we struck upon some of the pros and cons of the Internet as it pertains to BDSM, how do we go about being successful.  Here I am going to spell out a few ideas that I found helpful.  

To begin, it is crucial to understand that this is a game of numbers.  We acknowledge there are many different motives for entering into an online discussion.  It is imperative that we remember not everyone is there for the same reason.  Many are just seeking to pass the time with erotic chat.  If you know this going in, you will not be disappointed when you encounter someone of this ilk.

The Internet does work and successful relationships are built on a daily basis.  My present slave moved to me from the United Kingdom.  She is a person who I never would have located in a million years using the traditional methods of munches.  So, when you are encountering the pretenders, hold faith that it is possible to enjoy success.

That being said, here is my multi-million dollar formula for online BDSM success.  Since you are a regular reader of my blog, I am going to share it with you for free.  This one idea will radically change your life.  Are you ready for it?  

Ultimate Online Success

The key to online success that works in each and every situation is this: GET INVOLVED! Ponder that for a moment before reading on.

Why do I mention something so simple as a methodology for online BDSM success?  Because so few people do it.  In fact, they do the exact opposite.  This opens the window for anyone who is seeking to find someone real.

Do you know what I commonly encounter in my travels around the web?  Typically, I will run into a post like this "seeking real time slave (Master) for TPE. No fakes. Hit me up".  Ironically, these same people will also post a couple weeks later how that site is filled with nothing but fakes.  Well, duh.  Of course they will not attract anyone who is serious.  They offered nothing for a person to grasp onto.  Should one simply jump at the offer that this person is now available? Well, judging by the results, evidently not.

The bottom line is that people need to get to know you.  Simply stating that you are experienced and seeking something out proves nothing.  To overcome this challenge, one simply needs to start posting in forums and chatrooms.  Start to express some of the knowledge that you have.  This starts to instill confidence in the people who are following you.  Also, avoid the instant "sex talk".  Any fool can do this.  Begin to inquire about what the other person is offering you in return.  Relationships are a two way street.  The way to success if to start developing a relationship with each person you encounter.  This will quickly eliminate the fakes.

***My online BDSM community located at http://anownedlife.socialparody.com/ is a great place to start this process.  Come join us here.

Try this for a couple of weeks and let me know how it works out for you.

Click here for your version of An Owned Life.

Click here Be sure to check out our new FREE social networking site An Owned Life Community.