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Showing posts with label 24/7 TPE. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 24/7 TPE. Show all posts
November 17, 2010
November 7, 2010
What Is BDSM?
,
This post is going to hopefully clear up many of the major misconceptions that exist out there about the BDSM lifestyle. To start, I want to state that the ideas I am going to mention pertain to the relationship aspect. Those who are interested in implementing BDSM play into their bedroom activities, while still BDSM, will not relate to this. Only those involved or seeking a connection with another will identify with the principles.
I often ask people what is the most important part of the term 'BDSM relationship". It is interesting, although not surprising, to hear people state BDSM. Sadly, this is completely false. The most important idea to remember is that a BDSM relationship is still a relationship.
Many seem to think they entered the twilight zone when they involve themselves in BDSM. That leads to a host of irrational behaviors which often result in harm. The truth is that one needs to approach this life with the same skills utilized in all other interactions. Ultimately, BDSM is about the relationship with another person.
When one analyzes a BDSM relationship, you come to understand how it is the same, and how it differs. To simplify things, the main difference between the BDSM relationship and a traditional one is the breakdown of power. Many are involved in what is termed 'total power exchange'. What this means is that the power split is unequal. One person has 100% of the power while the other has 0%. Contrast this with most relationships which are 50/50 or, perhaps, skewed one way or another because of personalities. Other than that, most of the same skills for success are required.
Many ask how does one separate the BDSM life from the 'outside' life? There is no need to 'separate' the two. Life is life. One does not leave one to enter into another. Again, this isnt the twilight zone. There is no mystery. Your life is exactly what it is. Certainly, we behave differently depending upon the surroundings. But, isnt that true in the traditional world? We act one way in front of our boss while behaving differently with our buddies on a Friday night while drinking beers. Along the same lines, one involved in a BDSM relationship will behave accordingly in both private and public. However, the momentary external circumstances do not change the relationship.
People are either dominant or submissive (or switches). That is what they are. However, one needs to look at what makes this so. Is a person dominant, for example, because he or she acts in a particular manner? Or is someone submissive because they do those things that are associated with a submissive person? I will answer this with a question: is a person female because she dresses, acts, and exhibits the ways of a female?
The answer to all of these is 'no'. Domination or submissiveness is what one is. It is something that comes from inside the person. It matters little how one is behaving in the particular moment. Dress up a female in male clothing and she is still a female. That does not change about her. The same is true within our lifestyle. Just because a sub is 'acting' dominant, in a job let's say, that doesn't change who she is. Her submissiveness is remains.
What does all this mean? In my experience, I concluded that people who enter this life focus upon the action and behavior. People want to know about what one does as a dominant (or submissive). This is the wrong approach. Again, the actions do not determine what one is. It is what is inside that makes this decision. Thus, instead of focusing upon the action, one needs to look within for the answers. To me, the most important aspect of this is the mindset one has. Out of this the actions will follow. However, it all starts with the inner search of what is there and conditioning the mind to follow suit.
So, what is BDSM? Let me start by stating what it is not. Contrary to the images presented online, BDSM is not all about sex. You will not find yourself tossed into an episode of Public Disgrace on a daily basis. Nor it is about 'round-the-clock' beatings. It is doubtful your new Dom/Master has a dungeon set up where you will live. While sex and whippings are a part of the life we lead, it is not the primary focus.
Another thing that this is not is a fairy tale. Many like to romanticize it while placing it on a level of a kinky Cinderella. There are no glass slippers in this one. Many seem to think that a series of science fiction novels written in the 70s depict what this life is like. Few live something even remotely identifiable with these works. Again, this is mental imagery presented in the online community that does not transcend to real time.
BDSM is an inner search that is turned outward to fulfill a desire the dwells deep within a person. One might call it a connection to spirit. Whatever the terminology, the basic idea is living true to oneself. Getting involved in a BDSM relationship entails one living according to certain principles while interacting with another person. Each person fulfills a void for the other person. This connection is what present the opportunity for both people to grow. It is through this interaction that we learn more about ourselves.
Trust is a quality that many people have difficulty with. The BDSM relationship necessitates trust at the deepest of levels. Many of the activities we engage in are wrought with danger. A submissive, especially, needs to trust in the person that he or she is giving control to. Vulnerability is present even at the physical level; something that most in the traditional world do not face. It is almost unheard of that a person was accidentally killed in a normal relationship. However, scenes go wrong in the BDSM world can often lead to death. A greater level of trust is required knowing this danger exists.
When one submits, he or she gives all of him/herself over to another. At the same time, the dominant is accepting complete control and, thus, responsibility for the direction of that person's life. Neither should undergo this process lightly. This goes far beyond just wanting to be taken sexually. When two people merge in this way, they each are presenting all they have to the other person. This is a process that takes a great deal of time. BDSM is going through the intense effort to learn about oneself fully and entering into a relationship that satisfies the inner needs. It is determining where one fits on the power exchange scale to match what is within him or her. Once this conclusion is reached, it filters into all areas of one's life. BDSM is a life path that allows one to be what he or she truly is.
Click here for your version of An Owned Life
Click here Be sure to check out our new FREE social networking site An Owned Life Community.
The BDSM Relationship
I often ask people what is the most important part of the term 'BDSM relationship". It is interesting, although not surprising, to hear people state BDSM. Sadly, this is completely false. The most important idea to remember is that a BDSM relationship is still a relationship.
Many seem to think they entered the twilight zone when they involve themselves in BDSM. That leads to a host of irrational behaviors which often result in harm. The truth is that one needs to approach this life with the same skills utilized in all other interactions. Ultimately, BDSM is about the relationship with another person.
When one analyzes a BDSM relationship, you come to understand how it is the same, and how it differs. To simplify things, the main difference between the BDSM relationship and a traditional one is the breakdown of power. Many are involved in what is termed 'total power exchange'. What this means is that the power split is unequal. One person has 100% of the power while the other has 0%. Contrast this with most relationships which are 50/50 or, perhaps, skewed one way or another because of personalities. Other than that, most of the same skills for success are required.
Many ask how does one separate the BDSM life from the 'outside' life? There is no need to 'separate' the two. Life is life. One does not leave one to enter into another. Again, this isnt the twilight zone. There is no mystery. Your life is exactly what it is. Certainly, we behave differently depending upon the surroundings. But, isnt that true in the traditional world? We act one way in front of our boss while behaving differently with our buddies on a Friday night while drinking beers. Along the same lines, one involved in a BDSM relationship will behave accordingly in both private and public. However, the momentary external circumstances do not change the relationship.
What Is One?
People are either dominant or submissive (or switches). That is what they are. However, one needs to look at what makes this so. Is a person dominant, for example, because he or she acts in a particular manner? Or is someone submissive because they do those things that are associated with a submissive person? I will answer this with a question: is a person female because she dresses, acts, and exhibits the ways of a female?
The answer to all of these is 'no'. Domination or submissiveness is what one is. It is something that comes from inside the person. It matters little how one is behaving in the particular moment. Dress up a female in male clothing and she is still a female. That does not change about her. The same is true within our lifestyle. Just because a sub is 'acting' dominant, in a job let's say, that doesn't change who she is. Her submissiveness is remains.
What does all this mean? In my experience, I concluded that people who enter this life focus upon the action and behavior. People want to know about what one does as a dominant (or submissive). This is the wrong approach. Again, the actions do not determine what one is. It is what is inside that makes this decision. Thus, instead of focusing upon the action, one needs to look within for the answers. To me, the most important aspect of this is the mindset one has. Out of this the actions will follow. However, it all starts with the inner search of what is there and conditioning the mind to follow suit.
What Is BDSM?
So, what is BDSM? Let me start by stating what it is not. Contrary to the images presented online, BDSM is not all about sex. You will not find yourself tossed into an episode of Public Disgrace on a daily basis. Nor it is about 'round-the-clock' beatings. It is doubtful your new Dom/Master has a dungeon set up where you will live. While sex and whippings are a part of the life we lead, it is not the primary focus.
Another thing that this is not is a fairy tale. Many like to romanticize it while placing it on a level of a kinky Cinderella. There are no glass slippers in this one. Many seem to think that a series of science fiction novels written in the 70s depict what this life is like. Few live something even remotely identifiable with these works. Again, this is mental imagery presented in the online community that does not transcend to real time.
BDSM is an inner search that is turned outward to fulfill a desire the dwells deep within a person. One might call it a connection to spirit. Whatever the terminology, the basic idea is living true to oneself. Getting involved in a BDSM relationship entails one living according to certain principles while interacting with another person. Each person fulfills a void for the other person. This connection is what present the opportunity for both people to grow. It is through this interaction that we learn more about ourselves.
Trust is a quality that many people have difficulty with. The BDSM relationship necessitates trust at the deepest of levels. Many of the activities we engage in are wrought with danger. A submissive, especially, needs to trust in the person that he or she is giving control to. Vulnerability is present even at the physical level; something that most in the traditional world do not face. It is almost unheard of that a person was accidentally killed in a normal relationship. However, scenes go wrong in the BDSM world can often lead to death. A greater level of trust is required knowing this danger exists.
When one submits, he or she gives all of him/herself over to another. At the same time, the dominant is accepting complete control and, thus, responsibility for the direction of that person's life. Neither should undergo this process lightly. This goes far beyond just wanting to be taken sexually. When two people merge in this way, they each are presenting all they have to the other person. This is a process that takes a great deal of time. BDSM is going through the intense effort to learn about oneself fully and entering into a relationship that satisfies the inner needs. It is determining where one fits on the power exchange scale to match what is within him or her. Once this conclusion is reached, it filters into all areas of one's life. BDSM is a life path that allows one to be what he or she truly is.
Click here for your version of An Owned Life
Click here Be sure to check out our new FREE social networking site An Owned Life Community.
August 14, 2010
Submitting To The Right Person
,
This topic is going to be a bit of a challenge since it is impossible to spell out every detail that one needs to get right. Relationships are about people and the interaction of those involved. Since no two people are identical, it is safe to say that no two relationships are either. That being said, I do feel there are some basics that apply to most of the situations in this life.
We all know that submission is an extremely important part of the BDSM process. In this life, when one finds someone suitable, he or she submits the power over to that person. The power exchange is a fundamental part of this way of life. It can be said that the submission process is what starts the ball rolling. Of course, there needs to be someone there to accept this submission.
This is where many make the mistake. I am going to leave aside those who would submit to a tree. These people we see on many of the sites by simply stating they are seeking someone to give themselves to...NOW. I believe they are only seeking anyone with a heartbeat (if they arent running a scam). Instead, what I am referring to is those people who are honestly desiring to submit to someone who will fulfill their needs. Their intention is worthy but their process seems lacking.
The right person to submit to is one who has the ability to accept your submission. This might seem like common sense but it is a part of the process that many get wrong. Stick around this life and you will see how often common sense is removed from the picture.
I come across so many who are clear in their thinking and desires yet try to impose that on another person. This most commonly occurs when one person within a relationship finds this way of life and then wants his/her partner to join in. I cannot tell you how many submissives I encountered who want their husbands (wife in one instance) to be their Doms or Masters. My response is always the same: if he wanted to do that he would have done that a while ago. Believe it or not, there are a lot of men who prefer to have an equally based marriage in terms of power. Some simply like having a "life partner" and aren't interested in a sub or slave.
Therefore, it is important to ensure that the person you are dealing with is capable of providing what you are seeking. Too often people try to protect their wants onto another person. This creates frustration in those instances where the other person is incapable of fulfilling those tasks. Some are not cut out to be 24/7 Masters. They lack the desire, background, and yen for the responsibility.
We also see a similar situation arise when one is seeking a Master but is dealing with someone who simply wants to do some domination. I was chatting with someone who mentioned to me that she could not be a part time submissive. That is a statement I tend to agree with. I am not sure anyone can. This is magnified if one has the inclination to live as a slave. I believe there is no such thing as a part time slave. One either is or is not.
Now, what happens to our submissive if he or she is dealing with someone who only wants to "play" around with domination. There are many who feel this is nothing more than a role-playing aspect to their life. When this occurs, we have a major disconnect between the two people. Ultimately, in my experience, things do not work out in the long run.
Submitting to the right person entails more than just finding someone that you like. There are many facets to this life that one needs to explore. Just because two people are on a site and enjoy BDSM does not mean that their kinks will line up. At the same time, the degree to which parties enter into the power exchange agreement could vary drastically. One who is seeking 24/7 will be unhappy with a play partner (in the long run). The same is true for those who seek something light and run across a full blown Master/Mistress. This person is too extreme for the play seeker.
Consider this idea when you are interacting with another. Does the person you are seeking to fulfill your BDSM desires have what it takes. Control and domination is not something that comes easy to many people. Society conditions us to believe and act according to equality. This mindset goes counteractive to what it takes to dominate. The conditioning can be so deep that many never get past it. This is the wrong person to be dealing with if you want to live as a slave. Unhappiness is the only result. Be mindful of this concept in all that you do.
Click here for your version of An Owned Life
Click here Be sure to check out our new FREE social networking site An Owned Life Community.
Submission
We all know that submission is an extremely important part of the BDSM process. In this life, when one finds someone suitable, he or she submits the power over to that person. The power exchange is a fundamental part of this way of life. It can be said that the submission process is what starts the ball rolling. Of course, there needs to be someone there to accept this submission.
This is where many make the mistake. I am going to leave aside those who would submit to a tree. These people we see on many of the sites by simply stating they are seeking someone to give themselves to...NOW. I believe they are only seeking anyone with a heartbeat (if they arent running a scam). Instead, what I am referring to is those people who are honestly desiring to submit to someone who will fulfill their needs. Their intention is worthy but their process seems lacking.
The Ability To Accept
The right person to submit to is one who has the ability to accept your submission. This might seem like common sense but it is a part of the process that many get wrong. Stick around this life and you will see how often common sense is removed from the picture.
I come across so many who are clear in their thinking and desires yet try to impose that on another person. This most commonly occurs when one person within a relationship finds this way of life and then wants his/her partner to join in. I cannot tell you how many submissives I encountered who want their husbands (wife in one instance) to be their Doms or Masters. My response is always the same: if he wanted to do that he would have done that a while ago. Believe it or not, there are a lot of men who prefer to have an equally based marriage in terms of power. Some simply like having a "life partner" and aren't interested in a sub or slave.
Therefore, it is important to ensure that the person you are dealing with is capable of providing what you are seeking. Too often people try to protect their wants onto another person. This creates frustration in those instances where the other person is incapable of fulfilling those tasks. Some are not cut out to be 24/7 Masters. They lack the desire, background, and yen for the responsibility.
We also see a similar situation arise when one is seeking a Master but is dealing with someone who simply wants to do some domination. I was chatting with someone who mentioned to me that she could not be a part time submissive. That is a statement I tend to agree with. I am not sure anyone can. This is magnified if one has the inclination to live as a slave. I believe there is no such thing as a part time slave. One either is or is not.
Now, what happens to our submissive if he or she is dealing with someone who only wants to "play" around with domination. There are many who feel this is nothing more than a role-playing aspect to their life. When this occurs, we have a major disconnect between the two people. Ultimately, in my experience, things do not work out in the long run.
The Right Person
Submitting to the right person entails more than just finding someone that you like. There are many facets to this life that one needs to explore. Just because two people are on a site and enjoy BDSM does not mean that their kinks will line up. At the same time, the degree to which parties enter into the power exchange agreement could vary drastically. One who is seeking 24/7 will be unhappy with a play partner (in the long run). The same is true for those who seek something light and run across a full blown Master/Mistress. This person is too extreme for the play seeker.
Consider this idea when you are interacting with another. Does the person you are seeking to fulfill your BDSM desires have what it takes. Control and domination is not something that comes easy to many people. Society conditions us to believe and act according to equality. This mindset goes counteractive to what it takes to dominate. The conditioning can be so deep that many never get past it. This is the wrong person to be dealing with if you want to live as a slave. Unhappiness is the only result. Be mindful of this concept in all that you do.
Click here for your version of An Owned Life
Click here Be sure to check out our new FREE social networking site An Owned Life Community.
July 23, 2010
Determine Where You Fit In
,
The title of this is "decide what you want". This is an important process that few consider when entering this way of life. Too many simply read a few articles online and say that they are a dominant or submissive. However, they fail to realize there is a whole lot more to the process than this.
There Is A Wide Spectrum
If we compare the BDSM life to a football field, we see the line between dominant and submissive as the 50 yard line. Figuring out whether one is on the right or left hand side of this line is the easy part. Nevertheless, just like a football field, there is a lot of real estate between there and the end zone.
People who are into light BDSM dwell near mid-field. Those who like the more extreme aspects of the life tend to reside near the goal line. Every step of the way there are people who are located at different intervals. Each person within this life needs to realize there there is a wide spectrum to choose from. It is up to the individual to decide what he or she wants.
Decide Before Getting Involved
I often write that dedication to lifestyle precedes getting involved with another person. Many approach this life in exactly the opposite way. They believe they will learn about the life by getting a Dom or sub who will help them to decide if they like this life or not. To me, this is like getting married before determining whether one is heterosexual or not. Not exactly a sensible approach to a lifelong decision.
We all like different things. The BDSM world offers so much variety that one should look at what he or she wants. If one is dominant, that is only the start. What type of relationship are you seeking? Do you want to be involved in a 24/7 relationship and assume full responsibility for the relationship? Or are you one who only wants your BDSM domination to pertain to sexual matters? The reverse is true for submissive types. Deciding these factors are crucial to having a successful BDSM relationship.
I find that the thing most overlook is the thought-process of deciding what he or she offers another person. I see so many post online something to the effect "Master looking for slave in city XYZ". Big deal. What is it that you are offering this person in return for his/her submission? Are you one who is capable of managing another person's life? Do you have the emotional stability to be in a relationship of this magnitude? Many think they can operate near the goal line only to realize they belong closer to mid-field.
Another aspect of the mental process one needs to undergo is to compare you personality with choices. For example, there are many who are seeking an extreme, hardass Master or Mistress. If you are a dominant, is this conducive to your personality. Some are naturally harder than others. At the same time, there are many who want someone who is more understanding. This person will not gel with the aforementioned sub. Knowing the type of person you are will narrow down those you will want to interact with in an effort to isolate the grouping that you are desiring. Again, knowing this beforehand will assist you in this process.
Revelations After The Fact
Naturally, this is not to say that people will uncover all there is before opting to move forward with a BDSM relationship. My belief is that a major part of any relationship is growth. People who are involved with each other in this lifestyle should be consistently improving. I do not believe that a relationship that is not growing is destined to last long. People need to spread their wings while taking on new challenges. Within the life, that means experimenting and trying different things.
On aspect that immediately comes to mind is expanding the limits of a slave. A true Master (or any dominant) will seek to expand the limits of the person who is under his or her control. As one goes along this path, he or she will discover things that are liked, and disliked. Perhaps one was closed minded initially to certain fetishes which are desired after experiencing them in real time. The revelation comes from the trying.
Over time, one will see where he or she fits into this life. Some are destined to be Masters while others Doms. There are those who are created to live as slaves while others remain subs. A few tend to go to the extreme while engaging in wild fetishes that few ever embark upon. Most dabble in many different aspects periodically for the pure enjoyment it brings. Finally, many will do things that fulfills their sadistic or masochistic streaks.
Commitment
If one is committed to this way of life, he or she will undergo the necessary self appraisal needed to grow and expand. That is the difference between those who want to "stick their toes in the water" and those who truly want to live this life. Commitment makes all the difference in the world.
March 26, 2010
24/7 TPE Slave
,
Is this really possible? Can someone actually live in servitude and bondage (figuratively) 24 hours a day 7 days a week? Yes, I do believe this is possible. However, it takes a special person to make this successful. The circumstances must also be ideal.
Why do I bring this point up? To start, I feel for one to have that round-the-clock lifestyle, one must find a Master in a financial position to support the both of them. This offers the freedom of complete service to that one person. A slave could then spend his or her day doing whatever the Master so chose. To me, this is true 24/7.
However, as mentioned, few of us fit into that category. Where does this leave us? We all know that employment is often required by a slave to assist in making ends meet. Thus, she is performing service to his or her Master since it is that person's benefit that is at stake. However, I don't feel this is complete 24/7 since a slave is under someone else's control.
Many seem to miss this fact of reality. I see this all the time with the online people. They make blanket statements about complete control and domination. That is achievable if you are in a position to financially maintain the relationship. However, if you expect him or her to work, that person's employer is in control. It is naive to think that you will be able to assert your influence while he or she is working. During those hours, you own nothing in effect. Someone else is calling the shots. Again, this is just reality.
To illustrate this point, I will use marriage as an example. When a couple is married, are they married only when they are together with each other? Of course not. Even when they are separated, people are still united in matrimony. In addition, even in those situations where they choose to live an open lifestyle, they are still in wedlock while with others. The marriage doesn't cease simply because of physical or sexual separation.
Another example, is your automobile. Is this something that you still own even when you loan it to a friend. Again, the answer is "yes". The title does not change simply because someone borrowed it from you. You are still responsible for having it insured and, depending on what happens, could be liable for damages. However, even though you own it, you are not in control when someone else is using it. He or she is calling the shots.
Owning a slave is the same. One's ownership does not end simply because that person goes to work. When my slave sets foot into her place of business, I am still her owner. However, during her work hours, I have no say whatsoever about what she does. The control exerted over her belongs to the person who manages her. It is not me. Nevertheless, she is just as owned as when she is at home performing tasks for me.
In the end, I am the one who benefits. It was my choice to send her to work and the option of having her quit remains with me. Of course, as a responsible Master, if I select this route, I need to accept the consequences. Too often people want to blame another for a choice he or she made. Being a Master entails assuming personal responsibility for what happens.
There is a saying in the BDSM community that property cannot own property. What this means is that true slave cannot own anything. This is the line that separates those who honestly live this lifestyle as opposed to a deeper form of role play. A true slave will have nothing of his or her own. Everything that person has is granted by the Master with the understanding it can be taken at anytime.
Getting back to the work environment, wages are paid in return for the efforts made. In this, I am the beneficiary of my slave's work. All wages paid, even though they come in her name, belong to me. She is working to offer financial support which makes my life easier. And, ultimately, that is what a slave is suppose to do.
Of late, I come across many articles spelling out the dangers of entering this lifestyle with the fairytale, romantic ideas in one's mind. Too many seem to buy into the nirvana of M/s that is espoused online. The reality of this lifestyle is far more difficult. I see so many who state they are slaves yet fail to meet the standard when viewed through the extreme nature of this lifestyle.
Are you willing to give up everything you have? Do you like the idea of having nothing except what your Master gives you? Many will say yes until they realize how big a concept this is. What if your Master told you to throw out that high school yearbook? Or the family album with all your picture? How would you like him or her to take all your physical assets? What if he or she told you that custody of your children needed to go to the ex? Could you handle all these? My belief is that most cannot.
Now, I am not claiming that all Masters will go to these lengths. I am simply mentioning what is possible. For example, I personally never get/got involved with the children of anyone I owned. I believe they are not my area of responsibility. That area of a slave's life is off limits to me by choice. Those children have a father and it is not me. This is how I handle things. However, not all will take that approach.
Of course, I feel obligated to mention, since common sense seems to be in low supply, one must know who he or she is dealing with before moving to this stage. Many will claim that they have no problem being a slave and giving it all over. After chatting with a guy (or girl) for a couple of weeks, it is not a good idea to liquidate your 401K. Use some sense when approaching this life.
This will create some controversy, but M/s entails a total exchange of power. Everything I wrote about thus far today exhibits this point. All assets, decisions, and property is with the Master. A slave has nothing other than what is decided for him or her. Again, few seem capable of going to this length.
Does that mean everyone does? Certainly not. There are many who use variations on this idea with great success. People are free to establish their relationships however they see fit. For some reason, new people seem to feel that not achieving a full fledged M/s relationship means they are failures. It appears that people believe in a hierarchy with M/s ranking higher than D/s. This is not so. One is not better than the other, they are simply different. D/s allows a sub more say in what transpires in her life. The exchange of power is limited.
Those who live a 24/7 M/s relationship choose to engage in that total power exchange. They feel that surrendering completely is the path for them. It is crucial that one is aware of all that can transpire by making this choice. There are times when it is a difficult road to travel for both parties. However, for those designed for this particular way of life, there is no place that feels more natural.
So, if you are questioning the validity of living as a 24/7 slave, take comfort in knowing that it is possible. There are many who are doing this as we speak. However, finding the right situation might take some time. Be patient on your search. The right person will show up at the appropriate time.
Click here for your version of An Owned Life.
Click here Be sure to check out our new FREE social networking site An Owned Life Community.
Financial Security
Considering the plight of the world the last couple of years, this is something that is becoming rarer with each passing day. It appears the majority of society in most developed countries are suffering financial woes of some kind. There is terrible uncertainty. Businesses are closing; employment is precarious; people are losing their homes. This is the reality that we are confronted with.Why do I bring this point up? To start, I feel for one to have that round-the-clock lifestyle, one must find a Master in a financial position to support the both of them. This offers the freedom of complete service to that one person. A slave could then spend his or her day doing whatever the Master so chose. To me, this is true 24/7.
However, as mentioned, few of us fit into that category. Where does this leave us? We all know that employment is often required by a slave to assist in making ends meet. Thus, she is performing service to his or her Master since it is that person's benefit that is at stake. However, I don't feel this is complete 24/7 since a slave is under someone else's control.
Many seem to miss this fact of reality. I see this all the time with the online people. They make blanket statements about complete control and domination. That is achievable if you are in a position to financially maintain the relationship. However, if you expect him or her to work, that person's employer is in control. It is naive to think that you will be able to assert your influence while he or she is working. During those hours, you own nothing in effect. Someone else is calling the shots. Again, this is just reality.
What Is Ownership
Does this mean only the financially well-off are able to achieve a 24/7 M/s relationship? The answer is "no". It is possible for any of us to live this way if we so choose. It only requires some understanding of what it means to "own".To illustrate this point, I will use marriage as an example. When a couple is married, are they married only when they are together with each other? Of course not. Even when they are separated, people are still united in matrimony. In addition, even in those situations where they choose to live an open lifestyle, they are still in wedlock while with others. The marriage doesn't cease simply because of physical or sexual separation.
Another example, is your automobile. Is this something that you still own even when you loan it to a friend. Again, the answer is "yes". The title does not change simply because someone borrowed it from you. You are still responsible for having it insured and, depending on what happens, could be liable for damages. However, even though you own it, you are not in control when someone else is using it. He or she is calling the shots.
Owning a slave is the same. One's ownership does not end simply because that person goes to work. When my slave sets foot into her place of business, I am still her owner. However, during her work hours, I have no say whatsoever about what she does. The control exerted over her belongs to the person who manages her. It is not me. Nevertheless, she is just as owned as when she is at home performing tasks for me.
The Beneficiary
In the end, I am the one who benefits. It was my choice to send her to work and the option of having her quit remains with me. Of course, as a responsible Master, if I select this route, I need to accept the consequences. Too often people want to blame another for a choice he or she made. Being a Master entails assuming personal responsibility for what happens.
There is a saying in the BDSM community that property cannot own property. What this means is that true slave cannot own anything. This is the line that separates those who honestly live this lifestyle as opposed to a deeper form of role play. A true slave will have nothing of his or her own. Everything that person has is granted by the Master with the understanding it can be taken at anytime.
Getting back to the work environment, wages are paid in return for the efforts made. In this, I am the beneficiary of my slave's work. All wages paid, even though they come in her name, belong to me. She is working to offer financial support which makes my life easier. And, ultimately, that is what a slave is suppose to do.
Few Truly Can Do It
Of late, I come across many articles spelling out the dangers of entering this lifestyle with the fairytale, romantic ideas in one's mind. Too many seem to buy into the nirvana of M/s that is espoused online. The reality of this lifestyle is far more difficult. I see so many who state they are slaves yet fail to meet the standard when viewed through the extreme nature of this lifestyle.
Are you willing to give up everything you have? Do you like the idea of having nothing except what your Master gives you? Many will say yes until they realize how big a concept this is. What if your Master told you to throw out that high school yearbook? Or the family album with all your picture? How would you like him or her to take all your physical assets? What if he or she told you that custody of your children needed to go to the ex? Could you handle all these? My belief is that most cannot.
Now, I am not claiming that all Masters will go to these lengths. I am simply mentioning what is possible. For example, I personally never get/got involved with the children of anyone I owned. I believe they are not my area of responsibility. That area of a slave's life is off limits to me by choice. Those children have a father and it is not me. This is how I handle things. However, not all will take that approach.
Of course, I feel obligated to mention, since common sense seems to be in low supply, one must know who he or she is dealing with before moving to this stage. Many will claim that they have no problem being a slave and giving it all over. After chatting with a guy (or girl) for a couple of weeks, it is not a good idea to liquidate your 401K. Use some sense when approaching this life.
Total Power Exchange (TPE)
This will create some controversy, but M/s entails a total exchange of power. Everything I wrote about thus far today exhibits this point. All assets, decisions, and property is with the Master. A slave has nothing other than what is decided for him or her. Again, few seem capable of going to this length.
Does that mean everyone does? Certainly not. There are many who use variations on this idea with great success. People are free to establish their relationships however they see fit. For some reason, new people seem to feel that not achieving a full fledged M/s relationship means they are failures. It appears that people believe in a hierarchy with M/s ranking higher than D/s. This is not so. One is not better than the other, they are simply different. D/s allows a sub more say in what transpires in her life. The exchange of power is limited.
Those who live a 24/7 M/s relationship choose to engage in that total power exchange. They feel that surrendering completely is the path for them. It is crucial that one is aware of all that can transpire by making this choice. There are times when it is a difficult road to travel for both parties. However, for those designed for this particular way of life, there is no place that feels more natural.
So, if you are questioning the validity of living as a 24/7 slave, take comfort in knowing that it is possible. There are many who are doing this as we speak. However, finding the right situation might take some time. Be patient on your search. The right person will show up at the appropriate time.
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