Aftercare Part II

The other day I wrote about the importance of Aftercare as a part of the BDSM lifestyle that does not get enough attention. (Read post here) Aftercare is a topic that receives little attention but is crucial in dealing with the long-term psychology of a submissive.

Basically, Aftercare is exactly what it states. It is the care that a dominant gives to a submissive after a scene. This is an important step to ensure the safe "return" from the extreme that some submissive types can go to. Obviously, the more intense the scene, the more vital that Aftercare is.

Some of the aspects of Aftercare are: dressing wounds, removing accessories used during scene, circulating blood throughout the body especially to areas that were bound, and emotional support through dedicated interaction. For a more specific list, please read the previous post.

One thing that I failed to mention is the times that Aftercare is needed. Obviously, the default answer is that this is something that should always be done. Nevertheless, here are some times when it is imperative that Aftercare be given.

-When a new person is in the scene
-Interrupted scenes where there was a psychological break
-Highly charged scenes in terms of emotion or physical interaction
-Whenever a submissive had a "flashback"
-Excessive abuse whereby a safe word was overlooked
-Scenes with excessive humiliation especially if others are involved since this can take a toll on the sub's self esteem.

Whenever a scene moves into an "extreme" area, it is best to provide Aftercare. This will ensure the confidence of the sub/slave while enhancing the long-term viability of the BDSM lifestyle. Omitting this step often leads to one leaving this way of life since they end up feeling abused. Aftercare is the bridge from the scene back to everyday reality.

Click here for your version of An Owned Life.

Aftercare

This is a topic that does not get a lot of coverage online. However, this is an extreme part of the BDSM lifestyle. Those who engage in any sort of extreme scenes are at risk unless they take the precautions needed for a smooth conclusion.

A BDSM scene is something that can affect a sub on many different levels. Obviously, there is the physical component which is well illustrated by the pics posted online. In addition to this, there is also the mental/emotional/spiritual component that needs to be addressed. It is this second aspect which will allow a sub to maintain dignity while continuing participation in these acts.

The simple truth is that a BDSM scene is often degrading. This is part of the process since separation between Dom and sub is truly emphasized. Often, the process of humiliation is employed to enhance the experience of each during the scene. Personally, I find this to be a major turn-on which does provide for a better experience. The problem arises when a sub takes what is being said to heart. This is where Aftercare emerges as a crucial element.

A simple definition of Aftercare is the treating of a sub after a BDSM scene. This includes all the different aspects mentioned above. To start, a Dom will address the physical wounds. They should be cleaned and dressed to prevent infection, encourage healing, and lessen pain. After that, the emotional and mental "wounds" should be tended to.

In a situation like this, it is not uncommon for a sub to need some compassionate contact with a Dom. Her worth should be reaffirmed. Expression of her ability in performing during the scene should be stressed. Also, compliments designed to truly lift her self-esteem should be offered. The vital aspect is that she receives some attention from the Dom.

Naturally, the Aftercare will vary depending upon the relationship of the parties. For example, it is not uncommon for professional Dom/Domme to place a call to the sub the day after to ensure that he or she is alright and to offer further reaffirmation. In cases where the two are involved in an ongoing relationship, extra attention and care the days following is productive.

The bottom line is that it is a Dom's responsibility to take a sub to the edge during a scene. However, there is nothing worse than dropping this person like a lead balloon after taking him or her to extravagant heights. Nothing will ensure a smooth landing like solid Aftercare. Do not overlook this crucial step.

Click here for your version of An Owned Life.