The Reward Bag

Here is a simple game that can be played with a sub/slave at anytime. It is something that keeps things exciting especially with an active imagination. It all starts with a bag (or a box) where you can write down certain rewards. These are activities that you know she loves and wants you to do to her. Put them all on separate strips of paper and place in the bag.

Now, whenever you sub/slave earns a "treat", have her reach into the bag and pull out the secret reward. Since they are all things she likes, her pleasure is guaranteed. Of course, there are different degrees of pleasure gained. Therefore, knowing that some other more pleasurable activities are in there, she might experience a bit of disappointment.

The reward bag is a simple way to keep things fun and exciting. BDSM is about control and do not necessarily have to be extreme. Something as basic as this concept can be a fundamental part of your BDSM interaction.

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The Punishment Box

Many want to enhance their sex life. When people first look at this lifestyle, they are stunned to find out that the price of "toys" is expensive. It is possible to spend thousands of dollars in a short period of time outfitting yourself with all kinds of accessories. While this might work for some, there is a much better approach.

There are a lot of things in the BDSM world which are free. If you are an imaginative person, your house is presently filled with many items that will enhance you sexual experience. Things such as brushes, spatulas, rope, string, belts, and ice are available in most houses. Consider using the free stuff first before laying out the cash for the expensive stuff.

Punishments are a part of the BDSM lifestyle. There are times when subs/slaves need to have their actions adjusted. A good Dom/Master will approach this with the candor one takes when disciplining a child. A corrective reminder is usually to the benefit of the offender. BDSM is no different.

A way to add some fun to this is to have a punishment box. This is nothing more than a small box containing cards or small pieces of paper with different punishments written on them. When the sub/slave acts inappropriately, he or she is told to pull a punishment out of the box. Whichever is selected is the one the Dom/Master instills.

When creating this, it is best to have punishments which vary in severity. Of course, you will want some that the sub/slave detests. It adds to the excitement when he or she is pulling the card. I often marvel at how the a sub/slave can pull the same punishment 4 or 5 times in a row when there are 15 different ones in the box. The harder he or she wishes for something else, the more likely the same one is pulled.

The punishment box is a great way to dole out punishments. However, it can also be used in your scene. For this, simply write different activities you want to perform on separate pieces of paper and have them pulled at different times. Once pulled, perform that technique on him or her. This is heightened if the Dom/Master is the one who creates the activities. The element of surprise only enhances the sub/slave's experience.

Try the punishment box or variations on this idea. You will be happy that you did.


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Individuality

If I said it once, I said it 1,000 times "everyone involved in BDSM is an individual and there is no one size fits all". It is astounding that people think there is a particular model that needs to be followed. If that were the case, shouldn't we apply the same standard to traditional relationships. To go one step further, please show me the handbook on marriage. There is not one. Marriages are successful when two individuals create an arrangement which works for them. BDSM is the same way.

Many choose to focus on the sexual aspect of this lifestyle first. Starting here, it is imperative to understand that not every Dom likes the same thing sexually. Some are into anal, others detest it. Some like poly, others monogamy. Some share their subs out, others do not. As you can see, the preferences vary from each person.

The same is true for subs. The easiest example is those who like pain versus those who do not. Obviously, the approach to each of these differs depending upon which type you are dealing with. Typical punishments with a pain slut will prove ineffective. The lesson on this type of individual might be lost if you decide to whip her. Instead of a punishment, she has received a reward.

We could extend this conversation to all aspects of the BDSM relationship. Every part is an interaction between two people. Just because something was effective (or enjoyable) with one in the past, does not mean that it is true for the present relationship. My suggestion is to take each one as it comes.