The Reward Bag

Here is a simple game that can be played with a sub/slave at anytime. It is something that keeps things exciting especially with an active imagination. It all starts with a bag (or a box) where you can write down certain rewards. These are activities that you know she loves and wants you to do to her. Put them all on separate strips of paper and place in the bag.

Now, whenever you sub/slave earns a "treat", have her reach into the bag and pull out the secret reward. Since they are all things she likes, her pleasure is guaranteed. Of course, there are different degrees of pleasure gained. Therefore, knowing that some other more pleasurable activities are in there, she might experience a bit of disappointment.

The reward bag is a simple way to keep things fun and exciting. BDSM is about control and do not necessarily have to be extreme. Something as basic as this concept can be a fundamental part of your BDSM interaction.

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The Reward Box

The other day I wrote about the punishment box. For those who missed it, here is a link to that article. This technique is something that can really enhance your experience with your sub/salve. Using negative enticement can be a wonderful way to display your domination and power. This person will really feel the effects of your wishes.

There is another track that can be taken. Like in most areas of life, we always have the choice to use the carrot or the stick. This is basic knowledge in motivational behavior. Each has it's place although neither is absolute. To best modify behavior, a mixture of the two tends to work best. Just like all work and no play makes one ornery, the same is true for a sub/slave. All punishment and no reward will make them testy.

The reward box is the same as the punishment box except it contains actions which the sub/slave enjoys. I like to fill this with a variety of pleasures ranging from the minimal to the extravagant. Over time, as she "earns" a reward, I will choose something from the box. The anticipation at the surprise tends to heighten the experience.

This is a simple way to create another power base in your relationship. Punishments are at a Dom/Master's choosing. So too are rewards. Using each in the appropriate situation will better alter her behavior. At the same time, it increases the chance for you both to get creative with your BDSM. Thinking out of the box is the ideal way to approach this lifestyle. You are only limited by your mind.

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The Pleasure of Pain

Many find great pleasure in experiencing pain.  This is one of the major draws to the BDSM lifestyle.  People who want things to "get rough" are often looked at oddly when in traditional relationships.  However, that is par for the course in the BDSM world.

Not everyone is into pain.  Just because one decides to enter this way of life, that does not mean he or she is into pain.  Yet, many enter with a curiosity about it and how it will fit into their lives.  This is where One needs to be careful.  A good Dom (Domme) will do what is necessary to take a sub to his/her limits while avoiding permanent damage.  I have seen it more than once where One went too quick, leading to adverse consequences.

So, how does One go about this?  In my opinion, it is something that should be taken slowly (when dealing with someone new).  Communication is extremely important.  Obviously, the safe word is one of the first indicators that One went too far.  This allows the sub to stop the scene when it becomes too much.  However, a sub might not always be aware of what is happening.  The monitoring of the situation is paramount.

I like to start with a simple paddling to get a sub accustom to the physical sensations.  It is easiest if it done during sex since this combines the pleasure and pain aspects.  A hand is the most commonly used "item".  I would surmise this is how many begin their BDSM quests.  

Next, I might add a spatula to the mix.  This leads to a striking of the ass to incur the same sensations as the hand (except it hurts me less).  Adding a foreign object to the mix tends to heighten the scene in my experience.

Striking the same area repeatedly will give the "burning" sensation.  The impact need not be too hard.  It is equally effective to strike the same area with moderate power.  Under this scenario, the sub will feel the heating up of the skin.

Many of you know that one of my favorite toys is the riding bat.  This is a tool that can be used with great precision.  I found it most effective when it strike the same area with quick repeated blows in sets of five.  This is true whether I an hitting the nipples, ass, or clit.  Subs find the sensation to be intense.  Also, I further heighten it by resting for a few seconds then going back to the same spot.  This keeps the spot aflame (not literally for all you pyros).  You will actually feel the heat when touching that area with your hand.

Pain is a wonderful facet of this life for many.  Anyone who has dealt with a pain slut knows the pleasure he/she derives from being whipped.  There are many different ways to accomplish this task.  Yet, remember, safety is allows at the top of the list.