February 23, 2015

People Are Sheep...We are Wolves

I hope this title got your attention.

Do you know why I wrote this?  Because it is true.

The world is made up of followers.  People are asleep.  Everyday we run into people who lack the ability to think clearly and independently.  Instead, they swallow the Kool Aid that is served up to them as if it were fact.  This is true regardless of the source.  The media, educational system, religions, and people we interact with ALL have an agenda.  No matter what it is, they are going to force it down your throat.

Society is very strong in the conditioning department.  It puts forth ideas that it wants the subjects to embrace and pounds it into their skulls.  Again, this is done through a combination of the aforementioned institutions in an effort to create obedient souls.  Freedom is not something that is espouses.  People are taught to fall in line or risk being ostracized by those closest to him or her.  History is filled with examples of this. If you are at a loss, just consider the plight of homosexuals throughout the ages.

The net result is society creates a concept it calls "normalcy".  Of course, this is never fully explained or clarified but we learn, through our rearing, what is generally considered normal or not.  We learn this lesson by witnessing the reactions that are received to certain behaviors in addition to the programing we receive from the agenda machines.

A fact that cannot be overlooked is that almost of all of us were under this umbrella at one time or another.  We are no different from the mainstream masses.  In fact, in many ways, most of us still operate within this realm.  However, there is at least one phase of our lives which constitutes a change: our entry into BDSM.

Entry into BDSM means that one is going against the norm.  As we all know, the traditional method of structuring a relationship is what is touted as normal by society.  Again, for those who live under a rock, it is a mongamous, heterosexual (mostly), lifelong commitment based upon equality.  Anything outside this is considered abnormal.  In fact, is it not interesting that they even have a name for anything outside these parameters...alternative lifestyle?  BDSM is considered an alternative lifestyle because it is different from what the masses espouse.

Anyone who decides to join this way of life is separating him or herself from the sheep.  This individual is utilizing the power of independent thought.  Instead of following the masses, this person is looking at his or her life in an effort to determine what will lead to personal fulfillment.  Unfortunately, we typically start this process after we realize that following the traditional model led to repeated train wrecks.  Nevertheless, once we begin to question what is considered normal and how it applies to our life, we begin to take control for ourselves.  No longer are we sheep simply obeying the belief system someone else established for us.  We are now looking at things objectively in an effort to reach conclusions which will serve us personally.

The wolf is an animal that is a predator.  It roams the wild surviving harsh elements.  While this species will travel in packs, it is rather independent.  In other words, this is not an animal that becomes domesticated.  Marching to its own beat has always been it modus operandi.  This creature epitomizes free, both the positive and the negative.

BDSM is a world where people are free to choose as they like.  This freedom opens up a host of possibilities that previously were non-existent.  However, the downside to this is that we are also responsible for all we choose.  Pointing the finger at someone else and blaming them for our plight is not part of this life.  We take responsibility for the decisions we make and the situations we get ourselves in.  Do you see the wolf complaining about the lack of food during the Winter or the fact that the snowfall is exceedingly deep?  Of course not.  The animal just keeps on going and surpassing whatever obstacle is in its way.  Much in the same way, we in the BDSM world persevere in spite of the challenges that come with this way of life.  Those who survive and excel within this way of life are those who do not waiver in their commitment.  At the same time, they eliminate any possibilities outside their desired outcome.  In other words, going back to vanilla is not an option.  We entered this because we found vanilla lacking and made it our home.  Therefore, success within BDSM is the only path for us.

As you can see, mindset is crucial to our endeavors here. (If you missed it, I wrote a post about the power of the mind which is a worthy read)  It is within our minds that we determine whether we are going to be a sheep or not.  Those of us who are in this way of life obviously decided that we are not following what society sets out for us, at least as it pertains to this part of our life.  Instead, we found a better way for us and we are sticking to it.

Which brings up my next point.  Many people seem to be entering the BDSM world (and remaining) while maintaining the vanilla mindset.  Unfortunately, this tends to be a source of great trouble.  BDSM offers a great deal that is radically different from what we were taught growing up.  Not only is the relationship structure different but also so are most of the activities we engage upon.  Naturally, society, as a whole, tends to look down upon us for what we are into.  In fact, some of our activities are considered illegal by the governing bodies.  An example of this is impact play.  We call it a scene, the authorizes call it assault.  Even when it is consensual, this is the case (research some of the cases online where individuals involved in this were jailed for a scene).  Therefore, having the understanding that we walk a fine line with some of the activities we engage in is paramount.  Again, this is where the mindset comes in.  Are you going to live according to your own beliefs or adhere to what others set down for you?

I must make this point perfectly clear.  What we are involved in within this way of life is consensual.  This is what separates BDSM practice from abuse.  Sadly, we have far too many abusers hiding under the guise of BDSM but that is a subject for another day.  My point is that even if we are into some extreme things, both (or all) parties are consenting before it starts.  Even things that are "forced" occur under the larger umbrella of consent i.e. a consensual relationship with "forced" behaviors as part of it.  Society, as an entity, frowns upon this yet this is normal for us.  Again, we notice a shift in mindset.

The final point I want to make today pertains to the idea of BDSM and vanilla life.  As I have repeatedly mentioned, too many write something about having BDSM wrapped around their vanilla life.  There is no separation.  This is another shift that has to occur.  We live life, that is it.  BDSM is our life.  Granted, we are not leather and whips 24/7 but there is no separation.  We operate in the real world.  However, once the shift in mindset takes place with regards to our relationship structure, we often find that we question many more beliefs that were instilled within us.  Remember, entering BDSM is a freeing experience and the greatest freedom is that of the mind.  Suddenly all the beliefs that we defended without even being aware of where they came from are subject to be examined.  This leads us to start altering other, specific areas of our lives.  The radical mental transformation penetrates all areas resulting in that wolf mentality.  Naturally, there are times we are obedient souls such as when the boss is standing in front of us.  Few of us are so masochist we are going to destroy our lives simply to insert some radical thinking in our workplace.  Nevertheless, the mindset is still there.  Quite simply, we look at the world through the lens of freedom rather than restriction.

And that is one of BDSM's greatest gifts.


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