December 8, 2013

The World Is Crazy


What is normal?  Have you ever sat down and really thought about it?

Society is known to indoctrinate us into a particular belief system.  Every culture does this.  Of course, depending upon which side of the fence you are on, we are right and they are wrong.  We saw this throughout the ages with the religious wars.  When you think about it, weren't these nothing more than a conflict in dogma.  The idea that "my God is right and yours is wrong" is code for "my indoctrination is correct and yours wrong".  Ultimately, how many of these people actually thought about what they believe?  If society is any indication, the answer is very few.

BDSM: A Stray From The Norm

Over the years, I am fortunate to witness the mental break that is required to fully embrace the BDSM world.  This process started with myself and expanded to the witnessing of others as they shed the chains of "normalcy thinking".  In fact, I am firmly convinced that nobody is able to fully reach his/her potential within this lifestyle unless her or she fully questions the belief system that was implemented.

Society tells us what path to follow.  While it does not explicitly come out and say it, we are told how to behave.  We "sense" what is normal.  Consider the mantras you heard over the years.  Marriage is between a man and a woman.  Go to school, get good grades, find a job, get married, live happily ever after.  Get your head out of the clouds and plant your feet firmly on the ground.  Messages like these have an impact upon what we believe.

At the same time, we are well aware that our sexual interests are also shaped outside of ourselves.  Madison Avenue is notorious for telling us what is sexy and who we should be attracted to.  Of course, the message is that anyone outside of this is unattractive.  Religious institutions also are prolific for taking over our sex lives.  Anal sex is a sin.  So is sex outside the bonds of marriage.  Sex only for procreation.  The list goes on.  My point is we also see that our beliefs in this area are shaped by these outside influences.

The fortunate thing is that BDSM strays from this common thinking.  People question what they believe.  Certainly, the fact that we do this makes us stand apart from those we know.  This is why it is cautioned about telling others of your decisions.  Few will understand.  The basic truth is that few of them ever took the time to look at what they believed.  An "alternative" lifestyle requires, by its very definition, the need to alter one's mindset.

Way Too Serious

My observation is that the world, and those in it, are way too serious.  I say this not in jest but as a statement of observation.  People believe their own thinking.  To me, this is insanity i.e. crazy.  How can someone defend their beliefs when they were not consciously chosen?  At the same time, why would anyone ever put themselves into a situation where their thoughts created such misery?  Sadly, I cannot answer these questions but understand that it takes place everyday all over the world.

Most people are miserable.  They lead lives which are uninspired.  Many of us in BDSM realize this since we were in the same mindset at one point in our lives.  There are a large number of us who followed the "normal" path to happiness only to find it lacking.  We were married a time or two (or three or four) only to end up completely miserable.  Over time, we realized what was promised to us by society if we did the "obedient" thing was a lie.  It simply did not exist.  Yet most of society still operates under this exact premise. 

BDSM is an exercise in exploration.  One cannot undertake this way of life without investigating all the wonders and pitfalls that it offers.  It is a journey of growth.  As I often point out, this is about a lot more than whips and chains.  Those who are serious about this way of life while making it a core part of it, understand the effort required to find "one's place".  There are so many different ways one can go that the possibilities are almost endless.  This is a far cry from the average person out there who simply (and blindly) follows the ideas presented by the majority.

I feel that BDSM is about growth.  While this is a serious matter, it is also something that we need not take so seriously.  Life is suppose to be fun.  BDSM offers us a means to express ourselves how we see fit (as compared to how others want us to be).  Society will look down upon us for acting upon our individual desires while shunning its dogma.  However, when you seriously look around society and the people who make it up, is there a reason to follow them?  They wear their unhappiness on their faces throughout the day.  You do not even need to speak to them to realize how miserable they are.  We see this point evidenced by the increase in drugs prescribed for depression and alcoholism/drug abuse.  Basically, they are the walking dead.

Remember these ideas the next time someone questions you or the decisions you make regarding this lifestyle.  It is best to step back and bear in mind that you are not the crazy one.  The world itself is crazy and those who are "normal" are most often the nuttiest of all. 

DN

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