February 24, 2009

Everyday Life


Concluding that the bdsm way of life is similar to the pictures posted on the Internet is akin to believing that having a family will resemble a Norman Rockwell painting. Or that getting into a relationship suddenly will resemble life in a wine commercial. The truth is life rarely mirrors these things.

The scene is a central part of anyone in the BDSM lifestyle. It is the most fundamental aspect of many relationships. In some cases, it is the entire relationship. However, in most, there is a lot more. Relationships, even in BDSM, have many levels and nuances. People have to deal with different situations just like they do in the traditional world.

No matter how your BDSM lifestyle is structured, there is a better than average chance that one person will need to maintain employment. While some of us are financially free, most are not. Also, there are basic life issues like family, illness, and financial problems all which need to be dealt with. Getting involved in BDSM does not exempt us from life responsibilities.

I see too many people enter this way of life disillusioned as to what they are getting into. Relationships, no matter what the makeup, take word. There are conflicts which will invariably arise. Few are able (or want) to play 24/7. There is a time when responsibility takes over. Also, many seem to believe entering into this way of life will resolve their problems. It will not. Most people's problem is themselves, and engaging in BDSM means that you still brought you. Unresolved issues are not resolved by getting in a BDSM relationship.

This lifestyle offers excitement, freedom, and fun for those who are cut out for it. However, I am not a believer that this is for everyone. Most belong in a traditional relationship. There are some who simply need the structure of a common relationship. For those who gravitate towards this way of life, it is those who do so seeking to fulfill that inner desire which comes from his/her core that seem to be most successful.

So remember, life is still life. Regardless of how you structure your relationships, there will always be things to deal with. BDSM is a lifestyle with life being the key word.

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